Secondhand engagement rings

[Tim Bennet.]

I don't want this to be yet another royal wedding tirade, but I'm puzzled by Wills use of his mother's engagement ring. Take the situation away from its royal context, and is it right to use your Mum's engagement ring, if it was given to her by a man who never loved her and probably ended up hated her?

And how do women feel if their bloke used such a ring?

 

[Fnaar]

"Mrs" F has my mum's engagement ring (mum died 20 yrs ago)... and we're not actually married!

 

[Arch]

I imagine it's different in every case. Plenty of people have inherited engagement rings passed down the family, and I assume it's the attachment William feels to his mother that matters, not how the marriage ended.

Personally, if a chap wanted to give me a ring with that sort of meaning to him, I'd be happy enough, if he meant enough to me to marry. My only issue personally would be if I didn't like it - I'm not into big flashy stones myself. I don't think the history of it would matter so much.

 

[slugonabike]

I would have been happy with a 2nd hand engagement ring. Either something from an antique place, history unknown, or a ring which had happy associations for either of us and had a happy history. I wouldn't have wanted a ring which I knew to have unhappy associations, or one that I had no part in chosing

 

[Davidc]

It's quite a common thing to do. Can't see any good reason not to in this case.

 

[Tim Bennet.]

I can understand if the original engagement/marriage was happy and successful, but (it appears to me), that this ring was practically 'tainted' from the word go.

 

[summerdays]

For me ... 2nd hand in itself wouldn't be a problem especially as you may get a different style as a result, and would like the idea of passing on a family heirloom. However as others have said... this ring probably has too many emotions/memories attached to it. Fine give it to her as a ring, but engagement ring.... no - he should have used another family ring (I'm sure they must have loads in the family jewellery box), if he wanted to pass on a family heirloom.

 

[theclaud]

I don't want this to be yet another royal wedding tirade, but I'm puzzled by Wills use of his mother's engagement ring. Take the situation away from its royal context, and is it right to use your Mum's engagement ring, if it was given to her by a man who never loved her and probably ended up hated her?

I thought exactly the same thing. It seemed a rather creepy talisman.

 

[CanucksTraveller]

It may sound skanky but I got my wife's engagement ring from a pawn shop. My reasoning was that I knew the type she wanted, but at that age (early 20's) I couldn't afford a nice enough brand new version. I got a completely refurbished (i.e. brand new looking) ring for about 35% of what it would have cost in a jeweller.

As far as she knew, it was brand new, so I kept that to myself for over ten years. When she eventually went to get it valued and insured she was shocked at the value of it and did wonder how I'd managed to pay for something like that in my youth and so I eventually came clean.
To my relief she agreed that it was a sensible thing to do and she's not remotely disappointed.

It doesn't carry any negative connotations for either of us, even though we both know that someone else used to own it a long time ago. At the same time I can see why some people may not like the idea.

 

[theclaud]

It may sound skanky but I got my wife's engagement ring from a pawn shop. My reasoning was that I knew the type she wanted, but at that age (early 20's) I couldn't afford a nice enough brand new version. I got a completely refurbished (i.e. brand new looking) ring for about 35% of what it would have cost in a jeweller.

As far as she knew, it was brand new, so I kept that to myself for over ten years. When she eventually went to get it valued and insured she was shocked at the value of it and did wonder how I'd managed to pay for something like that in my youth and so I eventually came clean.
To my relief she agreed that it was a sensible thing to do and she's not remotely disappointed.

It doesn't carry any negative connotations for either of us, even though we both know that someone else used to own it a long time ago. At the same time I can see why some people may not like the idea.

Not at all. It's not the fact that it was secondhand that was disturbing about Diana's ring - it's the fact that it was given in a cynical gesture for a disastrous marriage contracted by Charles in bad faith. Both William and whatsername know this.

 

[Arch]

I can understand if the original engagement/marriage was happy and successful, but (it appears to me), that this ring was practically 'tainted' from the word go.

It's several lumps of crystalline rock, clamped into a metal form. Look at it that way, and all the taint is gone... Its up to them to make the ring 'work' this time, just as it would be with a new one. I suspect they'll live in a house people have died in, but that's not an issue.

As an ardent recycler I say better reuse than buy a new one, with stones probably hewn by people with less than enjoyable working conditions...

 

[661-Pete]

Mrs P had a new engagement ring. Diamond and sapphire, just like Di/Kate's, though rather different design. It cost somewhat less too... She still wears it.

I think it's a bit unkind to refer to a ring that's 'been in the family' as 'secondhand' - as if it was something bought off Ebay! There may be strong emotional reasons for passing on a parent's ring, I don't think it's for others to intrude. In my case, seeing as I didn't consult my Mum before 'popping the question', there was no family ring available to me...

As for W&K's ring, well there's a lot under wraps here. Normally when a couple get divorced, they return their ring(s) to the partner, don't they? Maybe Charles had the ring in his keeping, maybe it was his idea to pass it on? Or maybe Diana was allowed to keep the ring, maybe she left instructions in her will? As I said, we just don't know...

 

[User169]

[QUOTE 1247611"]
I can understand (if it's correct) that it's important to Willy because his mom can't be there and this is a part of her. Sentimental, but this might outweigh the other issues about the ring.
[/quote]

I reckon that's about right. Diana continued to wear the ring after the marriage had ended, so I guess she still retained some affection for it.

 

[User169]

Or maybe Diana was allowed to keep the ring, maybe she left instructions in her will? As I said, we just don't know...

Diana kept the ring and bequeathed it to Harry. He then gave it to William.

 

[Arch]

Anyway, she's marrying into a virtually unique family, in a relationship that will be analysed in minute detail, and with a career path like no other. The ring is a tiny part of that, and she seems to me to be sensible enough to cope with it.

She has been going out with him for 9 years. I suspect they've talked about stuff.