Rubbish chat up lines

[Will1985]

Not quite the same thing, but if anybody has seen Love Actually, they will know what I'm talking about (Colin).

I didn't actually have to think of anything clever, just open my mouth and say "Hi, I'm Will" - it did help that I was in a room full of American college girls.

 

[Joe24]

anybody here ever been chatted up by a girl? What did she say?

She didnt say anything, she just smacked me and walked off. I dont understand why.

 

[papercorn2000]

anybody here ever been chatted up by a girl? What did she say?

You've got nice eyes, remind me to **** you sometime!

I held out for a week!

 

[stevenb]

'Have you got a mirror in your knickers? Coz I can see myself in them'.

 

[Jacomus-rides-Gen]

Used on me by a girl - "Look, I can't really understand you, I'm f**king drunk. If you wanna sh*g me we'll go back to mine now, coz I'm not going to stick around here much longer and I've never been f**ked by a goth before."

It turned out that she was a lot more drunk than she seemed, not only am I not a goth, I just wear a lot of black - she had lost her phone and her keys, and nobody was answering the bell. I took her back to my place, held her hair while she was sick then put her to bed with a note explaining where she was and where I was (sleeping in the lounge) next to a big glass of water.

We neer slept together, but went on a couple of dates, and are firm friends now.

I don't use chat-up lines, mainly because I can't even make them sound funny! I do rely heavily on my smile though 8)

 

[Dayvo]

'Have you got a mirror in your knickers? Coz I can see myself in them'.

 

[longers]

"Do you fancy going halves on a b*st*rd?"

 

[SamNichols]

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird..."

 

[Joe24]

"My heating is broke, will you keep me warm tonight?"

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Barman to me in nightclub, "What do you want ?"
Me, pointing to blonde next to me, " I want one of those and a bottle of bud",
I had both and I did enjoy

 

[col]

"You don't sweat much for a fat bird..."

Wheres the flour? couldnt resist.

 

[Johnny Thin]

"Hold on - haven't I shagged your sister?"

 

[ufkacbln]

A friend of mine who is a keen triathlete reckons this worked with a student!

"I'm on a controlled diet, and to burn off the calories of this dessert I need an hour of passionate no - holds barred sex.

Can I order it?"

 

[stevenb]

Back in my Police days I used to say to the ex....
'Have you ever seen 14 inches dangling by my legs'....she used to giggle then we used to get it on....

 

[Jack]

If I could rearrange the dictionary, I'd put "u" and "i" together......