Dave, I am sure you love your wife, and respect her.
But I mystified by this (and many other posts I see on cyclechat), why do you think it's funny to pretend you are going to ruin her Christmas?
We are not all blokes her, it isn't just bantz. These posts make me (and I know other female CC members) think less of the posters.
(maybe men too, but I don't have intel about that)