I have resolved the problem accidentally.
It seems that Android 4.4 and the default keyboard, coupled with Opera (full or mobile and any version plus updates) on the XenForo forums are not a good combination.
I tried a number of options and the only satisfactory one until yesterday was to manually type out the code for the smilie... so you have to know that
was : laugh : without the spaces and
was : wacko : again without the spaces.
anyhow - the solution. Install another keyboard, change to that and suddenly all is well in the world. Curious problem and I wonder if I will run into it when the update for my android phone is finally released (it is still on 4.3) but just in case anyone else was wondering or had the problem.... I went with Google keyboard simply because it was the one that presented itself and I thought, why not... others may or may not resolve the problem but google keyboard did and I am now able to insert smilies and not watch them vanish in front of my eyes again!