Need some advice

[Vika]

Hi!

I'm trying to find some people who had an accident similar to mine and maybe get some advice on how to recover and get back to cycling.

I bought a new road bike in August this year with the prospect of commuting to work. It was my first road bike and I'd never commuted before, so it was supposed to become a whole new experience for me. The bike was beautiful, I got all the gear and booked a cycling lesson (even though I'm a driver, I thought, I'd benefit from proper cycling training). So, on the day of my lesson (28 August) I decided to cycle to the meeting point, which was only a few miles away. I started off quite confidently and within a couple of minutes felt really great and I think I even started to show off a bit... And then suddenly this bus appeared on my right side, got so close to me, I brushed against it with my shoulder, and then I can't even remember how exactly it happened, but I flew into the air and crashed onto my right side, breaking my right showlder and damaging the knee. My question is, how do you get back on the road after something like that happens?

After 2 months of total rest, I finally started walking, increasing the distance and speed every day. This, instead of helping, is making me somewhat extremely emotional. Apart from pain and loss of mobility in my knee and showlder, I feel petrified even to cross the road or walk on the pavement, close to the road. I feel like crying every time I see a cyclist or a runner passing by - and there are plenty of them in the city (I was told by my doc. that I must never jog/run again due to the knee injury). And I do cry when I get home and nobody can see - almost every day now, and it seems not to get any better and I feel totally out of control. I've read everything I could find on the internet about how to stay positive etc., and trying my best, but it doesn't seem to help a great deal. I can't talk to my family about it, because they all live abroad and I don't want to worry them, so I have to pretend everything is superb when I talk to them on the phone. My colleagues don't suspect anything either, because they perceive me as a very optimistic and happy person, which makes it even more difficult for me to maintain that image. I don't know whether I'll be able to do at least half of the activities I used to do before, because at the moment all I can manage is walk a few miles (no hills or stairs!) and that's it. It feels like my life has come to an end. Should I get some psychological help? Some friends told me I should... Or maybe I should just wait a bit longer for the injuries to heal properly?

Anyway, if you've had a similar experience, I'd be very happy to hear from you and learn how you coped and kept yourself positive and active. And also, if you happen to know a really good knee specialist in London (NHS), I'd be so grateful if you could share this info, because I can't (and don't want to) believe everything my current doctor's telling me.

Thank you!

V.

 

[ColinJ]

I can't really offer you any useful advice but I hope you get over your physical injuries and emotional trauma soon!

Good luck.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

I'm in no way qualified to advise you, but I sympathise with your situation. Hope is an excellent weapon with which to fight your negative feelings.

A few weeks ago I met a guy who works in a very active position within an emergency service. He is a very confident chap, confident in his manner, his knowledge of his subject and, very importantly for his work, confident in his decision making. Before taking on this work he was in the army for many years and served in a number of conflicts. He then had a very serious accident which left him paralysed from the waist down. This would be a devastating blow for anyone, but for someone who's whole life was the army and the vigorous activities to which he had conditioned his mind and body, he thought his life had ended. The army doctors told him he would never walk again. He told his doctors to go and play with their privates! That day he told himself he would walk again within six months. His doctors said this was a typical reaction to such bad news, the rejection of the inevitable.

Anyway you will know that of course he did walk again, and he told me this story whilst he and I walked over the most rocky, hilly, boggy terrain together. I may have missed some parts of that story because I could keep up with him only with difficulty.

This may sound like a tale from a motivational handbook, but I give you my word that it is entirely factual. Keep in there Vika. You are most welcome to the forum. There will always be someone here to talk to. Best of luck.

 

[Vika]

Don't know how to use this yet...
Just wanted to thank you guys, for your replies. That story about the soldger, even though does sound like from a motivational book - is quite inspiring. I admire people like him.
Amazing, but I feel better already, just from a few words of support.
Thank you!

 

[avsd]

Hi,

Not in the same league as the solider but I had a serious RTA ten years ago with a lorry. Busted my hip and ended up in traction for 6 week. I used cycling to get back my fitness. I picked a cycling event. It was a 100 miler but I was pretty fit before the accident. You might want to consider a shorter event - 50 miles or so. I then started training slowly but very regularly building up the miles a week at a time. First week was 20-30 minute cycles twice a week. After three months I was doing about 100 mile a week. Increasing the distance at the weekend by 5/10 mile every week.

find a quiet road/cycle track to get started and try to stay away from busy roads/bus lanes if you can. The fitness will come if you take your time the main issue will be dealing with the trauma. It took me about six months before I was confident on main roads with lorrys.

Best of luck.

 

[Tigerbiten]

Sorry to hear about your crash.

I used to teach horse riding.
And the best/hardest thing to do after a fall/accident, is to get back on .........

You need a buddy to go out with you.
Who'll both natter to you to take you mind off the traffic and help protect you from it abit, sit behind/outside your back wheel, while you get your confidence back.

Luck ...............

 

[Misty]

Hi Vika

I also had a serious accident some four years ago - thanks to a brilliant surgeon, I didn't lose a leg, but it was touch and go for a bit. In my case, the accident was on two wheels, off road and involved a collision with another vehicle (not my fault). Cycling was a huge part of my recovery, but I couldn't face riding off road (and I still can't - I just feel sick with fear). Instead, I started road cycling on quiet back roads and built up my strength and bike control incrementally.

I fully understand the fear part of your post - getting back on is important to avoid the fear becoming disproprortionate compared to the risk you face. BUT, you do need to consider what your next steps will be, very carefully - if I had forced myself to return to off road, and had even a little tumble, it would have knocked my confidence hugely and maybe I'd have given up riding altogether, which would have been dreadful! Forcing yourself to get back on" if you hate it, will only make things worse - and if you're stiff with fear, the chances of having a fall will be higher.

In your case (as in mine), maybe doing something slightly different will help - you say that your accident happened on the road - have you tried some gentle mountain bike or green laning to introduce yourself to cycling again, and to improve your fitness levels? The important thing seems to be to disassociate the activity from the accident, until your confidence returns. In my case, I didn't need to do much differently to overcome the fear - the switch from off road to tarmac was sufficient. Perhaps the opposite switch will work for you.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to get over this.... cycling is fantastic fun and i cannot imagine my life without it now.

 

[ianrauk]

Were are you based in London Vika? There are a good few CycleChat members in London who I imagine would be more then happy to accompany you on some rides to help get your confidence back.

 

[Vika]

Thank you very much to everyone, who replied! I'm so old-fashioned and didn't believe this would work (that some people actually are reading/writing on forums and replying!) Sorry to hear about your accidents...

Yes, it's a good idea to find some people from my area to cycle together. Actually, the girl, who was supposed to give me a lesson that day, lives nearby, and she offered to ride with me in a local park. But still, once I'm fit enough to ride, I'll definitely try to find some cycling buddies. I live in Forest Hill.

Misty, if I understand correctly (I'm obviously not English, sometimes get some meanings wrong) - you had your accident off road, i.e. not on the road? I think I get confused by "off road" and "on road". For me (as I understand it), off road sounds kind of safer? Like, country lanes etc.? And road (in central London, for instance), in the middle of all that traffic, sounds quite menacing. I actually haven't tried cycling after the accident yet, because I still can't use my leg fully (the cartilage is shattered and can't bend the knee), but I can't wait when I can do it. Reading other people' experiences I understand, that it's the matter of time and patience. It doesn't go away in an instant. That's the reason I get so frustrated - I just wanted to get up and go, which, of course, is not possible. I'm getting my bike replaced this Thursday - still a road bike, even though some people insist I should start from a hybrid or even a mountain bike. The reason I want a road bike, I guess, is because I did spinning in the gym for about a year and got so addicted to it and loved it so much, that I decided to actually ride for real. I think a racer looks just beautiful. If I can't ride it, I can at least stare at it for now (it's super-pretty!), and maybe sit on it watching tv...?

 

[Aperitif]

Hello Vika - I can only echo what Ian says, there are many Cycle Chat members in London, including plenty who have been in accidents at some time in their lives. Maybe you could get help setting up a turbo trainer to use indoors when the time is right, and keep an eye open for London meets at the weekend. It is not compulsory to arrive on a bicycle in order to enjoy a cup of coffee here, or here perhaps...
I'm constantly impressed and humbled by the effort that other riders make to overcome their own particular incidents, and ride with skill and confidence in traffic, alone or in groups.
Best wishes, and yes, this is a friendly forum, so ask away!

 

[Fiona N]

Hi Vika
I'm a bit late to the discussion but what struck me about your original post was that you desperately need someone to talk to about this - going home and crying sounds like the start of depression which could cause a downward spiral if you can't bring someone else in for support. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to worry your family (I spent seven years in Australia when my family were back in the UK and phone calls home were edited of most bad news) and also the expectations of your colleagues that you're always a happy, cheeerful sort, but this does put extra pressure on you so finding someone to whom you can really say how you feel is really important.

It could be that finding a partner for walking and, eventually cycling, will help as they should be more sympathetic to your worries about regaining fitness and being able to cycle again.

And we're a pretty friendly and sympathetic lot on here - so many of us have had accidents and injuries so we know something of what you're feeling. I've had loads of accidents but only the first racing one about 25 years ago, which fractured several vertebrae, has given real problems - to the extent that about 5 years ago I was told that I should no longer ride upright bikes. I bought a recumbent bike to replace the seven bikes that I sold at that time, but never gave up hope of going back to uprights. This summer I sold the recumbent bike and bought a lovely new road bike but it's been a fairly hard road of physio and slow building up back stability. I understand your sadness at not being able to run as I'm also in that position after years of fell- and mountain running in the cycling 'off-season'.

So my message would be don't give up the physio, you can get back on the bike and meanwhile find someone to talk to - even if it's just a case of posting on here whenever you feel low