My "Wardrobe Malfunction". It's worse than Janet Jackson's......

[slowmotion]

It's a ratchet problem. I assume you have short, bristley hair? The material of the hat moves over the nap of your hair in one direction only and this is resulting in the unwanted movement of your new hat.
I have a similar problem with some fleece hats. I can put them on and check carefully in a mirror that any logos are aligned centrally at the front but once I start moving around a bit the movement of my scalp results in the hat rotating on my head and the logo moves unstoppably to my left.

I think a slick wet shave of the head will be the only solution, but my wife won't let me so I have to live with continually correcting the hat's position....

I'm starting to think that the turn-up could be the problem. Being a dedicated follower of style, I felt obliged to use one in order to show the peeps that I had bought a branded fashion item from Screwfix for £12.99 . It was the only way to show off the label and my excellent taste. However, I don't have the ratchet problem. The brand label stays radially aligned (rakishly slightly off-centre) until the hat pops off the top of my head. Like you, family pressures prevent me going totally Telly Savalas.

 

[slowmotion]

Double sided Gaffa tape, which i'm not sure even exists. But if it doesn't, you could invent it, stick your beanie to your bonce with it, then punt said tape to Dragons Den.
I'd ask for £25K for a 5% share. Touker Suleyman will be your best bet.

Double stick carpet tape. Probably good for (ahem) bikini stuff, but I'd rather not, thank you very much indeed.

 

[I like Skol]

I'm starting to think that the turn-up could be the problem. Being a dedicated follower of style, I felt obliged to use one in order to show the peeps that I had bought a branded fashion item from Screwfix for £12.99 . It was the only way to show off the label and my excellent taste. However, I don't have the ratchet problem. The brand label stays radially aligned (rackishly slightly off-centre) until the hat pops off the top of my head. Like you, family pressures prevent me going totally Telly Savalas.

Maybe I just have a screwtop head?

 

[slowmotion]

Maybe I just have a screwtop head?

Loctite is your friend, mate.

 

[Smudge]

I'd never pay £12.99 for a beanie, even with the designer label Screwifix.
I buy my beanies from B&M or Home Bargains at around £1.99 each. They also have the added bonus that they look so so sh!t, that you dont care if they rise up. In fact you hope they will rise up so far to be blown away, never to be seen again.

 

[slowmotion]

I'd never pay £12.99 for a beanie, even with the designer label Screwifix.
I buy my beanies from B&M or Home Bargains at around £1.99 each. They also have the added bonus that they look so so sh!t, that you dont care if they rise up. In fact you hope they will rise up so far to be blown away, never to be seen again.

Oh dear, oh dear. This isn't an ordinary run-of-the-mill beanie! It's totally exotic and a tasteful shade of grey. People stop me in the street and ask me where they can get one.



Besides, it's mobile.

 

[Smudge]

Oh dear, oh dear. This isn't an ordinary run-of-the-mill beanie! It's totally exotic and a tasteful shade of grey. People stop me in the street and ask me where they can get one.



Besides, it's mobile. View attachment 501104

Very nice, i can only dream of owning a beanie of that quality.

 

[slowmotion]

Very nice, i can only dream of owning a beanie of that quality.

If you ride somewhere behind me, you'll probably find one lying in the road.

 

[newfhouse]

Maybe I just have a screwtop head?

Ah, a screwed down hairdo like some cat from Japan. Are you Ziggy Stardust?

 

[All uphill]

Oh dear, oh dear. This isn't an ordinary run-of-the-mill beanie! It's totally exotic and a tasteful shade of grey. People stop me in the street and ask me where they can get one.



Besides, it's mobile. View attachment 501104

You can't wear that on a bike! It's a car hat!

 

[cyberknight]

You can get tape that gymnasts use to hold their leotards inplace when they are jumping about i think it will work on a bonce and a hat

 

[winjim]

Can you use a second, better fitting hat to hold the first hat in place?

 

[Justinitus]

Run a cable tie through it and under yer chin?

 

[raleighnut]

Run a cable tie through it and under yer chin?

Or use 2 clipped under yer lugoles.

 

[tyred]

Evostick contact adhesive should work well.