With MTB'ing it's all down to practice and learning. I've got much better since switching to MTB only after breaking my back. Was a steep learning curve. It took a while to tackle certain descent's locally - i.e. at first I'd get off at a rocky section with big drops, but the more you ride, the more you learn, and soon learn to negotiate the obstacles better. Most modern MTB's of a 'reasonable' specification are quite similar.
The suspension travel makes a difference depending upon what you plan to do. Most riders will be perfectly happy with any bike upto 140/150mm travel. More travel lets you hit bigger stuff, but that doesn't guarantee anything. XC bikes used to be mainly hard tails, but that's moved into full suspension as well.
My wife's 100mm FS XC bike is way more than she needs, but it's light, and it allows her to do some off road, that her hybrid can't. My trail bike is a fair bit heavier, but that's partly down to being more burly. If I rode both bikes, back to back, I doubt there would be much difference (other than her's is way too small for me).
Test ride a few, and see how you feel. I just grabbed a bargain when I got mine - I'd already researched it though.