Let's have a Blues thread as well
- Thread starter MichaelM
- Start date
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hubgearfreak
Über Member
Abitrary said:
arbo, bonj seems to have signed in with your user name
Abitrary said:
Come on mate, let's keep it going.
my wife's left me (she's on holiday with her sister).
my son has run away (sleepover at mate's house).
A sad reflection on the Blues! Blues are supposed to be sad! That's why I'm sat at home Drinkin alone!
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Howlin' Wolf...now there's a chap who could sing and play the blues...
Smokestack Lightnin', Back Door Man, and so on....
will that do you Abitrary?
btw, love the Thorogood clip.. . got a couple of his albums... (see the comment on youtube about him having too many teeth... (smiley here)
Smokestack Lightnin', Back Door Man, and so on....
will that do you Abitrary?
btw, love the Thorogood clip.. . got a couple of his albums... (see the comment on youtube about him having too many teeth... (smiley here)
Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
Well I woke up this mornin' and I'm reading this thread...
Rhythm Thief
Legendary Member
- Location
- Ross on Wye
Abitrary said:
Oh dear.
Rhythm Thief
Legendary Member
- Location
- Ross on Wye
Rhythm Thief
Legendary Member
- Location
- Ross on Wye
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
So. Someone sent me this a while ago and I just stumbled upon it like some partially sighted citrus fellah...
The Blues
If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:
· Most Blues begin with: ‘Woke up this morning.’
· ‘I got a good woman’ is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, ‘I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.’
· The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes - sort of: ‘Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound.’
· The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch, ain't no way out.
· Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, ‘adulthood’ means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
· Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get no rain.
· A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
· You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
· Good places for the Blues:
a. Highway
b. Jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass
· Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses
· No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.
· Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund
· Blues is not a matter of colour. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.
· If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, It's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
· If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
· Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
· Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
· Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
· Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Mute, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, Clinton, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Lame Kiwi Clinton, etc. (Well, maybe not ‘Kiwi.’)
I don't care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry!
The Blues
If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:
· Most Blues begin with: ‘Woke up this morning.’
· ‘I got a good woman’ is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, ‘I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.’
· The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes - sort of: ‘Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound.’
· The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch, ain't no way out.
· Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, ‘adulthood’ means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
· Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get no rain.
· A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
· You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
· Good places for the Blues:
a. Highway
b. Jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass
· Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses
· No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.
· Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund
· Blues is not a matter of colour. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.
· If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, It's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
· If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
· Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
· Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
· Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
· Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Mute, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, Clinton, etc.) For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Lame Kiwi Clinton, etc. (Well, maybe not ‘Kiwi.’)
I don't care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry!
Tim Bennet.
Entirely Average Member
- Location
- S of Kendal
Not true. What about "Let the Good Times Roll"
Hey, everybody, lets have some fun
You only live but once
And when youre dead youre done, so
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Dont sit there mumblin, talkin trash
If you wanna have a ball
You gotta go out and spend some cash, and
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Hey mr. landlord, lock up all the doors
When the police comes around
Just tell em that the joint is closed
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Hey tell everybody
Mr. kings in town
I got a dollar and a quarter
Just rarin to clown
But dont let nobody play me cheap
I got fifty cents more that Im gonna keep, so
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
No matter whether rainy weather
Birds of a feather gotta stick together
So get yourself under control
Go out and get together and let the good times roll.
Hey, everybody, lets have some fun
You only live but once
And when youre dead youre done, so
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Dont sit there mumblin, talkin trash
If you wanna have a ball
You gotta go out and spend some cash, and
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Hey mr. landlord, lock up all the doors
When the police comes around
Just tell em that the joint is closed
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
Hey tell everybody
Mr. kings in town
I got a dollar and a quarter
Just rarin to clown
But dont let nobody play me cheap
I got fifty cents more that Im gonna keep, so
Let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I dont care if youre young or old
Get together, let the good times roll
No matter whether rainy weather
Birds of a feather gotta stick together
So get yourself under control
Go out and get together and let the good times roll.
tdr1nka
Taking the biscuit
- Location
- SE London, Bandit Country
I've had enough, I'm Walking.
