Laughing at stupid foreigners.

[Profpointy]

My farther asking for directions to Kircudbright (pronouncing kirk-cud-bright).... blank looks. Ahh curr-coo-brie says the helpful local.

And upon mentioning to colleague that I was off to Bangalore, he mentioned it was now called Mangalore by the locals. Luckily I had already organised a ticket as Mangalore is a thousand miles away. Bengaluru is the locals' name for what we call Bangalore.

In France, ordering food in my best schoolboy French in a reasonably posh regional restaurant. Ordered a couple of courses of offal type starters - well, you've got to try stuff, then decided on something a bit more conservative for the main course. This was no challenge as I knew agneau was lamb. The waiter, ever so politely in perfect English pointed out "you know it's brains don't you?". Obviously I couldn't lose face in front of Johnnie Foreigner so thinking quickly, I replied "yes, that's fine"..... and three whole lambs' brains arrived neatly laid out on the plate.
Was perfectly edible, but not something I'd wholeheartedly recommend, nor have again.

Again in France a mate had looked up the word for "bill" , and duly asked for "la bec" to great bemusement in the restaurant

 

[alicat]

Once my mother and I were close to the river in Hamburg trying to find our way out of the city and kept wondering why most of the signs were for Elbbrucke or some such when it was nowhere on the map.

 

[John the Monkey]

That restaurant story brings back memories of a waiter (who didn't speak much English) and me (who has only passable French) trying to figure out between us what "merlu" was in English.

We never did work that out, so I had the dish anyway - it turned out to be a really tasty hake & turnip casserole. ("Merlu" being French for Hake).

 

[Spinney]

Has anyone else ever wondered why there are so many places called 'llwybr cyhoeddus' in Wales? You see signs all over the place.

 

[Dave 123]

About 20 years ago me & my wife were stood at a bus stop in Pollensa, Mallorca....

An English lady approaches "Does this bus go to Pixford?" she asks

"Would that be C'an Picafort?"

"No, Pixford!"

"No, it doesn't"

 

[MisterStan]

A few years back, I was doing some training at a hotel near Barnsley. It was close to my GF at the time's birthday, so I asked one of the reception girls where I could go shopping, 'Mederall', she said. I only clocked it as 'Meadowhall' when I saw the signs to come off the M1 motorway.

 

[SteCenturion]

Nearer to home ... I got no help after asking the way to Barn-olds-wick (Bar-lick) or Slaith-waite (Slough-it), just blank looks. (I'm sure that the locals are well used to it, and just pretend that they don't have a clue where you are talking about! )

I had the 'stupid Manc' come 'townie' look in (Slough-it) too when asking for Slaith-waite.

I got that "they covet the things in the shop" feeling when visiting for work.

 

[roadrash]

Has anyone else ever wondered why there are so many places called 'llwybr cyhoeddus' in Wales? You see signs all over the place.

And there are loads of little villages all called......DANGERGOSLOW

 

[robjh]

The Brit in a restaurant in France who asks for the recipe rather than a receipt. I was that Brit.

 

[byegad]

We stayed in a cottage in Fulmodeston. In a pub in another village, while taking lunch during a longish cycle ride, a local asked us where we were staying. So I told him and he looked very puzzled. I ended up writing it down, and which point he said, in broad Norfolkese, 'Oh! Fummerston.

Normal for Norfolk???

 

[Haitch]

A friend who wanted to say she had changed her mind when she saw what the dessert actually was told the host she had had a brain transplant.

 

[Speicher]

I am reminded of the endless possibilities of confusion regarding le menu, la carte, le menu du jour.

 

[MisterStan]

We stayed in a cottage in Fulmodeston. In a pub in another village, while taking lunch during a longish cycle ride, a local asked us where we were staying. So I told him and he looked very puzzled. I ended up writing it down, and which point he said, in broad Norfolkese, 'Oh! Fummerston.

Normal for Norfolk???

There are loads in Norfolk - my favourite is Wymondham - pronounced Win-dom...

 

[SteCenturion]

Sorry any USA citizens out there, but it has to be said, some of the craziest events of utter stupidity have emanated from the land of the free.

There is always the perennial "Scotland in England" Faux pas & also the Ascension Island tale I must recount.

It was on this volcanic island, a refuelling & radar post that a group of visiting Yanks, having paid heaps of their US $ to fly into London & out of RAF Brize Norton on a ropey old Tristar gathered near to some firefighter friends, their leader approached & asked "hey man, what are all those huge domes for", quick witted firefighter replies

"you know that the Queen is very fond of her Corgies don't you" ?
"Well they are no ordinary Corgies, they are bred in captivity there in those domes in very specific, controlled conditions & specifically for HRH the Queen".

Disclaimer (exact wording is a little vague after near 20 years).

Astounded to be let in on Great Britain & HRH the Queens national secrets, Yankee doodle dandy is overhead proudly informing his tribe "hey man....

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I like how this thread quickly moved away from aren't yanks stupid.

Edit: scrap that.