Laughing at stupid foreigners.

[Dayvo]

Whiles travelling through the US I stopped at a town called Yuma. Went to a steakhouse for something to eat and drink. Server not only asked if we were Australian, she asked why we were in Yuma. 'just passing through' I said. 'Passing through? No one passes through Yuma' she said.

Besides, you sound like Jack Reacher.

 

[Dayvo]

You lots have it easy with just a two or three nationalities mistakenly conferred upon you.

I am entertained by:
The French are convinced that I am American because I, according to them, speak French with an American accent.
New Zealanders are convinced that I am a maori
Australians are sure that I am an aborigine
Sikhs claim me as one of their own
Rugby fans are convinced that I am from: Fiji, Samoa, or Tonga
At Knockengorroch I had to convince someone that I wasn't a fellow Madagascan
The Dutch embrace me as one of their ex-colonial inhabitants
I've lost count of the African nations that I have been aligned with

I have been astounded when folk have pinned down my place of birth and upbringing, Darlington or current abode, Leeds.

I have been dismayed when I have been accused of being a scouser or a brummie.

Common as muck, in other words, eh, Vern!

 

[TheDoctor]

Besides, you sound like Jack Reacher.

Ianrauk said nothing.

 

[stowie]

Once in the USA, around Atlanta - when I still smoked - I went into a small shop and asked for "twenty Malboro lights". This being the common way in the UK of defining between a pack of 10 or 20. The woman behind the counter asked me to confirm what I wanted, which wasn't much a surprise because my fast speaking London accent was essentially a different language in South USA. So I repeated it and she went off and started to get 20 packets of cigarettes off the shelves. The confusion was resolved with some chuckling about how we were supposed to be speaking the same language.

I now visit Brazil regularly. 10 years ago very few people spoke English (even in Airports etc) and I spoke little Portuguese, so I resolved to learn the language. It is considerably harder than I imagined, and I still wonder if they have invented all the tenses and ending changes just to confuse me. Anyway, now that I can speak a certain amount of Portuguese, I am keen to use my Portuguese and improve. However, it seems in the last 10 years that the whole country has been to English lessons and very keen to try out their skills on a genuine Englishman. So I have had the bizarre situation where the Brazilian is talking to me in English and I am responding in Portuguese..

 

[yello]

On an internal flight in the US, the hostess asked me if I wanted a coffee. Yes, I said. Black, she asked. No, white please, I replied. What, she queried looking baffled. White, I repeated, with milk. Oh, she said, I've never heard it called white before.

 

[Gravity Aided]

Cream and sugar, even though it is just milk. Anything else just simply not universally understood. I've never heard it called white before either.

 

[MontyVeda]

in Dieppe in 1999, a group of us Lancastrians are trying to order some food at a burger bar... three of us speak very bad French, one speaks good Italian... and faced with three of us trying to order in pigeon French and one ordering in Italian, the perplexed owner cast us an exasperated look and asked "What country are you from?"

"er... England." we sheepishly replied.

"OK, so lets try speaking English shall we?" he suggested.

Why didn't we think of that?

 

[yello]

Cream and sugar, even though it is just milk

And I didn't know that. Cool! I like the peculiarities of language!

Even though I've heard of coffee asked for with cream and sugar, I'd always assumed that was what was wanted. It never occurred to mean that it could mean just milk too!

 

[Gravity Aided]

Very rarely see real cream here, for whatever reason. Maybe at Starbucks or Panera or something like a regular coffee house. Admittedly, America has a very peculiar language. It may be related to English.

 

[cyberknight]

Very rarely see real cream here, for whatever reason. Maybe at Starbucks or Panera or something like a regular coffee house. Admittedly, America has a very peculiar language. It may be related to English.

They lost the right to spell when they chucked tea away

 

[Gravity Aided]

Replacing it with coffee, unfortunately.

 

[Donger]

Very rarely see real cream here, for whatever reason. Maybe at Starbucks or Panera or something like a regular coffee house. Admittedly, America has a very peculiar language. It may be related to English.

It always amuses me that you can appear blunt and offend someone by asking where the "toilet" is. Everywhere in America people seem to direct you to the "bathroom", as if you are thinking of taking your flannel in with you and lathering up. Invariably the "bathroom" has no bath in it. The fact that this is normal in Normal strikes me as abnormal.

 

[User169]

On an internal flight in the US, the hostess asked me if I wanted a coffee. Yes, I said. Black, she asked. No, white please, I replied. What, she queried looking baffled. White, I repeated, with milk. Oh, she said, I've never heard it called white before.

Same in Dutch: total confusion if you ask for white coffee. Mind you, the standard term for coffee with milk trnaslates as "wrong coffee".

 

[oldfatfool]

Walking round the Kehlsteinhaus and overheard a couple of Americans talking and saying how cool it would be if it could be moved to yank land and opened as a Mac Donalds.

We where pissing ourselves for hours coming up with the various meal names and Toys that would be available, such as the Mengler happy family meal with Mac Nazi nuggets.

 

[yello]

Admittedly, America has a very peculiar language. It may be related to English.

What's the line; countries divided by a common language.