England : North Yorkshire July 1st, 2017 - the annual Settle Yorkshire Dales forum ride

[Sea of vapours]

although this wasn't such a chatty ride as we were all concentrating on getting the job done.

We were also unable to hear each other for a fair while due to wind noise - at least I was having difficulty! Fleak Moss is definitely rather hard from the south, and nowhere near as interesting and pretty as the way we went. That was marred somewhat by the ridiculous headwind; really tricky not to be blown over on the steep sections so I really don't think the 'stop and walk' approach was anything to be bothered about. It's definitely over 20% for a fair while up that bit and probably several points more in places - nasty. Still, flattens out nicely, doesn't it :-) You whipped up Grinton Moor at a fair old pace too. Glad you liked the route anyway, even if not every metre was technically 'enjoyable' ....

Rather a good call, the lift from Hawes to Ingleton option, @oldfatfool . My last 45km were increasingly wet and the wind became worse, though going clockwise round Ingleborough helped a bit, whilst adding on 15km as well of course. Did you pass Colin and I or were we not yet on the main Hawes-Ingleton road when you sailed past in wind-free dryness?

Very good to meet Colin and Rob again - I hope there's a sunnier, calmer opportunity later this summer. And great to meet you Andrew - I hope your legs start behaving themselves soon!

Oh! And next year let's check for cycling events. That sportive, or more precisely the vast number of support vehicles, changed the Fountains Fell bit from 1-2 cars to 30-40, which was definitely not an enhancement. Still a great road, but it's rather nicer when empty, as it usually is.

I hope Colin will be home soon. Having missed the 1800-ish train that would have been the 2000-ish one, so Keighley by 2030 and then another hour or so over another large hill, possibly in rain :-\ My total ascent was 2,777m so Colin's looking at well over 3,000m for the day. Ouch.

 

[Pale Rider]

The views and scenery were among the best I've seen on any hllly ride.

The Dales, even on the tops, is more verdant than the north Pennines in County Durham near me which can be a bit grim.

Despite telling you I'm going to avoid Fleak Moss in future, now that I've calmed down a bit another go doesn't sound so terrible.

My 650b ebike wouldn't wheelie, so I could probaby get up the wall on it.

Anyone who can get up it on a pushbike is doing well.

Excellent ride report, by the way - I'm struggling to string a sentence together.

 

[Sea of vapours]

Despite telling you I'm going to avoid Fleak Moss in future, now that I've calmed down a bit another go doesn't sound so terrible.

Aha! A catch then ;-) It's a rather addictive climb as it has so many, varied parts to it and it's so long that doing any or all of them just a bit better than last time is always a possibility. Today, stopping in that ex-garage / shelter was something I've intended to do and worked very nicely on a decidedly cold and windy hillside on that trip. Incidentally, the views to the west are even better when not topped by that vast bank of blackness and the obvious on-going rain over Newby Head, which I noted with distaste at the top of Fleak Moss and then experienced about half an hour later.

Colin is back home. He's alluding to a 'tale to tell', but not tonight apparently - I can't imagine why ... ;-)

 

[Pale Rider]

I expect Colin's immediate future is fall asleep on the sofa, and wake up at about 4am with a half-eaten 12" pizza on his lap.

He did well, given he was struggling over Grinton.

As you gathered, I rather enjoyed that one, so I do get the attraction, although not to the extent you do.

I'm on holiday the week after next, so I might take the 650b ebike down to the caravan and see if I can motivate myself to have another go.

 

[ColinJ]

It was a very eventful day, so please allow me to indulge myself with a very long post!

I expect Colin's immediate future is fall asleep on the sofa, and wake up at about 4am with a half-eaten 12" pizza on his lap.

Ha ha - I did manage to eat the pizza and watch the TdF highlights show, but by then I was in imminent danger of conking out so I dragged myself upstairs to bed. It took about 20 minutes to persuade my restless legs to stop their pseudo-pedalling action but once I fell asleep I slept for nearly 10 hours. I obviously needed to make up for lost sleep!

It was a great day out (apart from @oldfatfool's legs giving way) until we got to Appersett (near Hawes) and the rain started. More of that later ... (I was going to post about this separately, but I will do it in this post.)

When my lift fell through, I decided to extend my day out to 200 km (actually, 201.3 km to make it a true 125 miles!). So, yesterday morning I got up early and cycled from Todmorden to Keighley, a distance of about 26.5 km (with a humungous climb on the way). The main ride was planned to be 128 km so on top of my return ride from Keighley I would need to find another 20 km somewhere. I made sure that I got to Keighley station in good time, bought my return ticket, and then did 4 loops of Keighley town centre, each one 2 kms in length. That left just another 12 kms to make up later. The '200' was on!

The train to Settle was on time and I subsequently got to the 10:15 meeting point near Stainforth at about 10:10, to find @Sea of vapours and oldfatfool waiting as planned. They hadn't been there long so it was a good start to proceedings.

The weather forecast appeared to be accurate. It was a bit gloomy, but dry. Breezy, but not too bad. Sunshine was forecast for later, and we got it. The wind was supposed to pick up later too, and we certainly got that! Rain was forecast from 18:00 onwards. Now, there was an outside chance that our riding would be done by then - I had a chance to catch a return train from Settle at 17:57, but I doubted that I would be able to tackle the difficult terrain fast enough. Plan B was to catch the 19:44 from Settle, in which case I should have had time to do some or all of the 12 km shortfall.

As SoV indicated, we encountered a lot of sportive riders. I found out that they were doing the Water Cycle Challenge 2017. One of the support staff reckoned that they were doing 111 km. It turns out to be 111 miles - that is a very hard ride!

We met @Pale Rider at Aysgarth as planned and then tackled the climb of Grinton Moor. I hadn't eaten and drunk enough and it caught up with me on that climb. The other 3 riders disappeared off up the climb and I couldn't do anything about it. My energy level was dropping and I was getting confused (more than usual!), sure signs that I was close to bonking. I had run out of drink and was desperate to get to our cafe stop at Grinton but all I could do was grovel slowly upwards.

The others were waiting for me at the summit but I didn't hang about once I got up there. I badly needed to refuel so I set off on a fast descent to the village. It took all my remaining concentration to get down safely ... after nearly metaphorically 'hitting the wall' on the way up, the last thing I wanted was to literally be hitting a wall on the way down!

I thought the Dales Bike Centre cafe was nice but it was crammed full so service was a bit slow and we had to sit outside. The sun was shining by then, but that wind had picked up and was causing quite a chilling effect, as well as blowing things about.

I didn't take many photos on the ride because it is such a faff to keep stopping to take my phone out of my backpack. It can be hard to see the phone's screen in sunlight. I'm going to buy a small bar bag and carry my compact camera in that. There were some really spectacular views yesterday so it is a pity that we don't have many pictures to show you. I did take a few at the cafe stop though. You can see that the sunshine was nice and you get a hint of Dales scenery.

We eventually set off to tackle Fleak Moss. By then, I had given up on catching the earlier train - the wind was really picking up and we were increasingly turning into it so progress was slow. It is a very hard climb, but the views are wonderful so if you have the required fitness and/or low enough gears, do go and try it. Just be careful on the descent, and choose a nice sunny, dry day when there is not much wind. I agree with SoV - tackle it north to south.

O.f.f. was struggling with cramp in both legs so when we got to Askrigg he decided to be sensible and phone for a lift back from Hawes. I found the ride back along that stretch of road really hard work into the headwind. I just checked the map and it is only 8 km from Askrigg to where o.f.f. and PR turned off towards Hawes, but it felt like at least double that distance!

SoV and I rode up the little lane from Appersett to the B6255 together but conditions were worsening by the minute and there was no point in him crawling up the climb to Newby Head Moss with me in the wind and rain so we parted company there. I could see his flashing rear light in the distance as he got to the top of the climb. I reckon he put at least 1 km into me in the 7 km!

By then, conditions were truly horrid! I had been thinking that I would still do my 200, but it was no longer a fun ride so I abandoned that idea. I would catch the train to Keighley as planned, but then carry on home by rail rather than riding back from there.

I had plenty of time to get to Settle. Or did I? A completely unexpected problem suddenly scuppered my progress ... My eyes started stinging to the extent that I had to stop and wipe them. The wind was blowing the rain against my face and it was washing off the sun protection that I had liberally applied before setting off from home. I wiped my face as hard as I could to get rid of as much sun oil as possible but it seemed to keep coming out of my skin and blowing under my glasses and into my eyes. Ride 250 metres. Stop. lift glasses, wipe eyes. Start ... Then 200 metres. Stop ... 150 metres. Stop ... It got really ridiculous - I was having to stop every 50 metres. It trashed my average speed to the extent that I was worried about getting to Settle in time for the train. There was an option to stop at Horton-in-Ribblesdale and catch the train from there but I was soaked and cold so I wanted to keep riding to keep generating some warmth. I decided to take off my glasses so I could wipe my eyes while I was moving. It meant that more rain got in my eyes and I was uncomfortable but at least I was back up to reasonable speed.I should get to Settle with 15 minutes to spare ...

Then I realised that I didn't have any time in reserve to fix any mechanical problems, such as punctures. Guess what happened next ...?

Only kidding! I did get to Settle in time, but I was really worried all the way that a puncture would catch me out.

The train was on time and I was pleased to find that it only cost me another £3.10 to extend my journey as far as home.

I stayed on the train as far as Shipley, where I would have to change platforms to catch the train to Bradford Forster Square. When I got there I discovered that the train was due in 4 minutes. I was knackered and didn't fancy carting my bike up and down the steps of the pedestrian bridge so I headed for the lift. No go. The lifts were out of order. Unreliable railway station lifts ... Hmm!

I caught the luxury train to Bradford. Why can't our local trains be like that one? Quiet, clean, free wifi, comfortable seats ... it only took a few minutes to get to BFS station.

I was shivering now that the warmth from the exertion of riding had faded. My cycling clothes were sodden. But at least all I had to do now was to cycle down the hill to Bradford Interchange to catch my train home.

I got to the Interchange with 10 minutes to spare until my train. Normally, I would nip up the stairs carrying my bike, or perhaps pick it up and use the escalator. I don't know what made me choose the lift ...

Anyway, choice made ... I wheeled my bike into the lift, pressed the button, the doors closed, CLUNK, WHIRR, SILENCE! I pressed the button again. Nothing. Door open button. Nothing. Oh deep joy ... absolutely bloody wonderful - just what I needed when cold, tired and desperate to get home!

Still, there was an alarm button. Surely that would summon help? PRESS. Ah yes, a very loud alarm started sounding outside the lift. The instructions said to ring it for 5 seconds. A robot voice came out of a speaker telling me that the lift company were being alerted. Eh!!! I don't want some company in Glasgow/London/Wherever to be told that the lift needs servicing - I want someone at the station to open the door! The sound of a call being made, then an answering machine message - 'All lines are busy, please try again'. I tried again. Apparently, all lines were busy. I tried again. Engaged! Oh, FFS!!!!!!!!!!

After about 10 attempts, I got through to a young man who asked how he could help me. I suggested that getting me out of the lift that I was trapped in would help! He asked where the lift was so I told him that it was at Bradford Interchange. He asked where that was ... Er, it is in Bradford. Bradford, West Yorkshire. That is in England, UK! (He didn't seem to see get the humour ...) Next, he wanted to know the postcode of Bradford Interchange! I told him that the next time I planned to get stuck in a lift I would make a note of the postcode, but sorry, this slacker hadn't done so. How about Googling it? Oh, er yes, just wait while I see if I ca ... CLICK, SILENCE! Hello lift person, are you there liftie, LIFTIE, LIFTIE? Songs started playing in my mind ... Don't leave me this way, I can't survive, I can't stay alive - don't leave me this way!

I tried again. All lines busy. Again. Busy. Engaged. Engaged. Busy.

I need a break from typing. Please enjoy the following artistic photograph. It is called 'Jammed lift, with bike'!

I pressed the alarm button again. Busy. Engaged. Busy ... And then I got a young woman. Bradford. I don't know the postcode. It's a railway/bus station. Which? Both. It is a bus and railway station combined - 'Interchange' is the clue! You can change buses, change trains, or change between buses and trains, all under one roof. Yes, it is a good idea. Er, can we get back to extracting me from the lift. Certainly sir, er, hold on while I ... CLICK, SILENCE! That bloody song again ... Don't leave me this way, I can't survive, I can't stay alive - don't leave me this way!

I don't know if you are like me, but I have wondered why people start to freak out when they are trapped in lifts. Surely someone will soon be along to let them out! I was beginning to have second thoughts though. It was a small lift and the air was already starting to get clammy. Condensation was running down all the metal panels of the lift. I had been in there about 20 minutes and nothing had happened. Ok, the gloves are off now you b*st*rds! I pressed and held the alarm button. The alarm sounded like the banshees from hell. A busy station buzzing with people couldn't ignore THAT! ALARM, ALARM, ALARM, ALARM, ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM,ALARM, ALARM ...

IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE ..

F.F.F.F F.F.F.F S.S.S.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could hear people outside walking around the concourse. I shouted ... IGNORE. IGNORE, IGNORE!

I started kicking the door while sounding the alarm ... IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!

Was I in some kind of alternative universe where sound only travelled in one direction? I began to think I could be in there for hours and would miss the last train. Just what I needed.

And then my phone rang ... Eh? Being a former electronics engineer (and smart arse), I had always assumed that phones would not work in lifts. Faraday Cages and all that ... It hadn't occurred to me to try my phone!

It was my sister asking me where I was. She had been trying my landline all day. I told her that I was trapped in a lift in Bradford. I said that I didn't know how long we would have a signal so could she try and sort it out for me. I was in the lift to the railway ticket barriers at Bradford Interchange. Cheers.

She rang back 5 minutes later to say that she had got hold of the security staff at the station and they were on their way. Suddenly I heard a thump on the door and the welcome sound of a friendly voice. THANKS SIS, SPEAK TOMORROW!

Things started happening. Eventually, I heard the sound of tool boxes, clunks, clicks, and then the doors finally opened. I had planned to leap into the arms of whoever it was that rescued me but was unprepared for the welcoming committee ... 4 firemen, 2 police officers, a couple of security guards, and the staff from the ticket barrier! I thanked the firemen and made a joke about hoping that they wouldn't be sending me the bill. One fireman said that I wouldn't get a bill. but the company responsible for the station WOULD! I signed a document, and that was that.

My sister had told the railway staff that I wanted to catch a train to Todmorden and they told me that they were making sure that it didn't leave without me! I said that I was amazed that nobody had responded to the alarm. One ticket guy told me that they'd had lots of false alarms, but had been banging on the lift doors on the platform above me. They couldn't hear me, and I couldn't hear them. He told me that he intended to make a suggestion at the next staff meeting. There was no official training to do with faulty lifts, so that should be addressed! (Probably something along the lines of 'if the alarm is sounding, then check if anyone is stuck in the lift' would do the trick! )

I caught the train and phoned ahead to order my pizza. It was peeing it down in Todmorden when I got back so the clothes that were just drying got wet again. But at least I had a delicious vegetarian pizza waiting for me at my favourite local takeaway. I walked in there and asked for it. The staff went into a huddle, discussing the pizza in Urdu. The spokesman then sheepishly announced that someone had changed his mind about his meat pizza so they had let him have my veggie one. Did I fancy buying his meat one instead? I'd love to, but I haven't eaten meat for over 30 years and don't intend to start again, thanks. The perfect end to a perfect day - I sat there dripping for another 15 minutes while they made a new pizza for me!

THE END

(More exciting forum rides coming along soon. Join us on the coming Humber Bridge ride - if you are quick, you can help choose the date!)

PS My eventual total for the day was 163 km (101 miles) with 3,000 m of climbing (nearly 10,000 ft).

 

[Sea of vapours]

You did say you had a tale, but that is certainly quite a tale! And there I was thinking that being stuck in a lift was a) unlikely, b) quickly sorted if it did happen. On the upside, at least it wasn't raining in there.

I did wonder if you would still be able to see me on that last 3km stretch to Newby Head Pass. It was so murky by then that it's good to know that flashing red lights are indeed visible from a long way off. I was actually wondering whether you had time to get to Settle for the train. That headwind was pretty brutal as we went over the top and the rain was decidedly not the 'light' I'd seen advertised by the Met Office.

The post-Hawes bit of that ride qualifies comfortably as 'too exciting' I feel.

 

[Littgull]

Strewth what a horrific end to your gruelling day, Colin. The stuff of anybody's worst nightmares! But at least you have emerged with your sense of humour still in tact. Well done for keeping your sanity through that ordeal and well done to your sister too! She was truly the heroic rescuer.

I was relieved when I read that SoV had posted late last night that you had arrived home safely yesterday but obviously had no idea of the dire situation you encountered at Bradford station. More than enough adversity to overcome with the stinging eyes from the rain sodden sun oil without more to follow.

I reckon in years to come your ride report above will be right up there amongst the most eventful accounts of forum rides in the history of cycle chat.

 

[shirokazan]

@ColinJ, count your blessings - you had a freshly-made pizza.

 

[shirokazan]

Oh, and what is the postcode for Bradford Interchange? <ducks to avoid low-flying, high-velocity projectile>

 

[NorthernDave]

Oh, and what is the postcode for Bradford Interchange? <ducks to avoid low-flying, high-velocity projectile>

BD1 1TU

 

[Pale Rider]

The rain must have been localised.

I didn't get rained on but can only have been a mile or two east of Hawes while you were getting drenched just west of it.

Not a very reassuring response to the lift emergency button.

One might have hoped it would have been answered by someone near the lift, such as the interchange's CCTV room, or the technology would be there for the operator to know where the lift was for the button which had been pressed.

 

[oldfatfool]

I did think of you guys still gruelling away as I drove in torrential rain to Kirkby Lonsdale for a chinese after a warm shower

Whilst I don't think the lack of serious climbing helped my legs (or the cooling down at lunch) when I cleaned the bike today I noticed I had set the saddle hieght a few mill higher than it usually is when I fettled it pre ride, need to use something other than a black marker on a black post so that may also have had some bearing on my total lack of ability to even peddle on the flat by the end of the ride

Looking forward to tackling the route again sans wind over the next few weeks.

 

[Sea of vapours]

Looking forward to tackling the route again sans wind over the next few weeks.

You're going to do the whole thing again? Nice one It's amazing what a small difference in saddle height can do, isn't it!

The rain must have been localised.

I didn't get rained on but can only have been a mile or two east of Hawes while you were getting drenched just west of it.

That's pretty common. The cloud rolls up Chapel-le-dale and produces rain in the basin to the NE of Ingleborough and E of Whernside going up to and slightly over Newby Head Pass which often sits there and barely, if ever, gets to Hawes. I've 'enjoyed' that effect a few times.

 

[Starchivore]

Sounds like quite a ride and quite an end to it for poor Colin!! Well done for keeping your cool and for the detailed report- interesting reading to say the least! I know now never, ever, EVER to risk the lift at the interchange. No matter how exhausted or how much luggage...... very good to know.

Hope I'll be able to attend the next day out. I had noted this ride with interest but had a long-standing social engagement.... on which I was completely let down anyway, so that was a bit annoying. Well done everyone involved for completing what looks like a pretty formidable challenge.

 

[robjh]

Goodness @ColinJ, Bradford Interchange sounds far more challenging than the ride. That lift will go on my avoid at all costs list. Enjoyed the story though and glad you escaped to ride another time.