jokes!

[swee'pea99]

What do you call a donkey with one leg ?
a wonkey donkey​

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye ?
a winkey wonkey donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while
breaking wind ?
a stinkey winkey wonkey donkey
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while
breaking wind wearing blue suede shoes ?
a honkey tonkey stinkey winkey wonkey donkey !
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while
breaking wind wearing blue suede shoes and playing the piano ?
a plinkey plonkey honkey tonkey stinkey winkey wonkey donkey!!
What do you call a tiny donkey with one leg and one eye
while breaking wind wearing blue suede shoes and playing the piano ?
A dinkey plinkey plonkey honkey tonkey stinkey winkey wonkey
donkey!!

Top hole! Reminds me of my favourite 'what do you call a' joke (which works best if you're of an age to remember the gentleman in question)...

What do you call a man with a plank on his head?

Edward.

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?

Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four planks on his head?

I don't know either, but Edward Woodward would.

 

[Dave Davenport]

Vicar checking in to a hotel;

'I trust the pornography channel in my room is disabled?'


Receptionest;

'No, it's just the normal stuff you sick bastard!'

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Knock Knock


Who's there?


Impatient Sheep


Impa .... BAAAAAA!


Perhaps it works better spoken

 

[Fnaar]

20 things you can only say at Christmas:

1: I prefer breasts to legs.
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: Smother the butter all over the breasts.
4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5: I've never seen a better spread!
6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
7: Are you ready for seconds yet?
8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10: Don't play with your meat!
11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13: I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
14: You still have a little bit on your chin.
15: How long will it take after you put it in.
16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up
17: Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
18: That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
19: I've been gobbling nuts all morning
20: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more.

 

[swee'pea99]

Young newlyweds arrive at reception.
Receptionist: 'Do you have reservations?'
Groom: 'Only one. She won't take it up the a**e.'

 

[sjb]

Two Nuns in the bath, one says "where's the soap?". "It does, doesn't it?" replies the second......

 

[colly]

Two nuns in a bath one says "where's the soap?"

"Never mind that" says the second nun, "I could do with a good shag."