Joke

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postman

Squire
Location
,Leeds
You have got to say this slowly in one of those rich dark voices.

Lovingly wrapped in a creamy white embossed envelope detailed with fine gold writing and a first class stamp.
This isn't just any p45 it's a MARKS and SPENCERS p45.
 

johnnyh

Veteran
Location
Somerset
oooof harsh :biggrin:
 

bonj2

Guest
A sex therapist's last appointment of the day was a bloke and a woman who came in and said 'we want you to watch us haivng sex, and see if there's anything wrong.'
He thought it was a bit of a strange request, but pointed them towards the bed and sat back in his chair and observed them having great sex.
He said 'yep, fine - there's nothing wrong with that. That'll be £30 please for the session'. They handed over the £30 and left.

the next week they came back, and said the same thing. he said 'ok, well I can watch you again, but I can assure you there's nothing wrong, and i will still have to charge you £30 for the consultation'.
They had sex on his bed again, while he watched. Again, they did nothing wrong - seemed like a model couple. 'That'sfine - nothing wrong with that. I don't think you really need any therapy'. but they handed over the £30 and left.

The week after, the same couple turned up again, and the same thing happened. They requested him to watch their sex and he did and there was nothing at all wrong with it. He said 'well that's perfect, nothing wrong with that at all - why do you keep coming to me and spending £30 on my consulting fees when there's nothing wrong with your intercourse whatsoever??!'
the man said 'well, our spouses are unlikely to guess we're here, the forte posthouse charges 35 quid and the ibis is 39!'
the woman chipped in 'AND we get 27 quid back on bupa!'
 

gbb

Squire
Location
Peterborough
Marks and Spencers are merging with Poundstretchers to form a new company....its going to be called
'Stretch Marks'
 
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