A little late to the party.....
I must admit though I'm feeling a little anxious about my ability and dare I say even nervous.
I think it's really interesting that you use "anxious" to describe your "ability".
There's a reason we say "like riding a bike" - it's an ability once acquired that we find hard to lose.
I'm guessing then that "ability" is a replacement for "performance"?
Well, no offence intended but you wouldn't be the sharpest knife in the drawer if you went out in the expectation of performing the same as previously after a three month layoff, would you?
So... why so hard on yourself?
There are lots of different approaches to cycling. There's nothing wrong with having a few of them in your armoury.
so keep reminding myself that just getting out is a win.
Just getting out is one!
No performance, no ability grading. Just getting out.
Others are things like commuting, travelling and utility cycling. Going to the shops? Take the bike. Visiting a friend? Take the bike.
I've almost forgotten how beneficial cycling has on my mental mood too. That seems to of taken a downward turn to
I think, at times, we all do.
We have a habit of cycling and we get used to feeling good - we may even take that feeling for granted.
We stop cycling and that too becomes a habit. We can get used to not feeling good. And that low feeling becomes "normal"
It's good to have a few tools in the toolbox to help us out.
Photos taken on rides are something I have found inspiring at times. Whether it's a theme (churches, bridges - whatever turns you on) or the same shot at different times of the year.
Writing about a particular ride can be really good - it makes us focus, the thoughts and feelings can sink in making the memories more secure and of course, we can go back and read it when we're not in the same mood for a bit of inspiration.
I couldn't give a hoot about performance metrics but I love Strava for keeping a photographic record of each ride.
After a long layoff some would suggest a step by step approach:
Day one get the bike ready
Day two get the clothes ready
Day three combine 1 & 2 and get out!
At the end of the day, what works for you works for you.
Definitely riding slower (usually I average around 16.5)
Some folks would see that as a reason to get out again and start to improve..... others could possibly ask "what's the point?" and decide to wait for the longer evenings.
You got out on the bike, despite the anxiety, after three months off. I suggest giving yourself a break and being a bit kinder to yourself.
Hope the knee stiffness wasn't too bad today!