I hate Christmas!

[BigonaBianchi]

I loved Christmas for a VERY long time...as a boy it was a magical time surrounded by loving family who (unknown to me ) worked their arses off to give me a happy childhood. As a younge rman I loved the time we had as a couple, then as a father I revelled in all that Christmas meant (and expected).

These days I feel empty, going through the motions. My son is no a child anymore, he's seeking out his own path and doesnt want me to guide him, he's like I was and now I know how much I may have hurt my parents. I wan to be with them more as they grow old, the made me who I am and I will miss them when they are gone. I feel unable to look after them as they did me and that eat's me up.

This year I am hanging onto Christmas's past, repeats of the two Ronnies and Noel and things that didnt last.

Inside I know this will be our last Christmas together so it's all about playing the game, holding the sinking ship together and doing the right thing for our son who needs a stable family home still.

Christmas has a different meaning for me now. I want to go to Church again on Christmas eve. My family have decided they dont this year because it's 'boring'...and so I will go alone at midnight, and they will wonder what's wrong with me. God has become critical in my life. Few understand that.

I feel lonley and lost, cast adrift. 2009 will be THE definative year in my life. Lonliness on one's own is understandable, but loneliness in a marriage ...well I have no words for that.

So..do i hate Christmas?.. No.. I just don't love it anymore.

 

[Night Train]

Lonliness on one's own is understandable, but loneliness in a marriage ...well I have no words for that.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. I hope your time with your God brings you some comfort and a means of not being lonely in your marriage. Do you know what particularly has brought this about?
I hope your God helps you find some answers and some solutions in amongst the general good will of the season.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

My sympathies Gromit, family stuff aside, I hate the way the UK grinds to a semi p*ssed halt for a week and can't get moving again for another month.

I rather like that, myself.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Do you know what particularly has brought this about?

Hand on heart...I have no idea...30 years is a long time...maybe too long. but who cares...i have two good bikes a few good guitars and a crate of cider...
...sometimes i think i've seen all life has to offer...but wtf it's christmas..hey ho...

 

[Alan Biles]

What a very sad thread. Particularly for those in a fragile relationship and just going through the motions of Christmas. Good luck to all of you.

 

[longers]

I'd like to echo Alan's sentiments.

 

[beanzontoast]

It's all about being in control of things. When we had to 'do the rounds' of relatives 20 years ago, Christmas was a blur. We were 'expected' to attend various relatives on particular days, taking turns for who came to who etc. I used to go back to work more knackered than when the holiday started. But over time, things changed. Our Christmas has become a much simpler affair nowadays and especially now the children have grown up - less family to visit, less time off work (which sounds bad, but at least has a great way of making the time you do get more enjoyable), less decorations around the house, fewer presents to buy, no pressure to overspend. If we want to go visit someone, it's by our choice. If we feel like declining an invite, we do.

I suppose if / when the kids settle and get married, it will all change again, but for now, these are the most straightforward Christmasses ever.

 

[Andy in Sig]

I loved Christmas for a VERY long time...as a boy it was a magical time surrounded by loving family who (unknown to me ) worked their arses off to give me a happy childhood. As a younge rman I loved the time we had as a couple, then as a father I revelled in all that Christmas meant (and expected).

These days I feel empty, going through the motions. My son is no a child anymore, he's seeking out his own path and doesnt want me to guide him, he's like I was and now I know how much I may have hurt my parents. I wan to be with them more as they grow old, the made me who I am and I will miss them when they are gone. I feel unable to look after them as they did me and that eat's me up.

This year I am hanging onto Christmas's past, repeats of the two Ronnies and Noel and things that didnt last.

Inside I know this will be our last Christmas together so it's all about playing the game, holding the sinking ship together and doing the right thing for our son who needs a stable family home still.

Christmas has a different meaning for me now. I want to go to Church again on Christmas eve. My family have decided they dont this year because it's 'boring'...and so I will go alone at midnight, and they will wonder what's wrong with me. God has become critical in my life. Few understand that.

I feel lonley and lost, cast adrift. 2009 will be THE definative year in my life. Lonliness on one's own is understandable, but loneliness in a marriage ...well I have no words for that.

So..do i hate Christmas?.. No.. I just don't love it anymore.

That's another post that's not really about Christmas but about your life. If life was like a film you would leave it on the computer, you wife would see it and have a Damascene experience and all would be transformed. Life's not like that so maybe you should try printing a copy off and showing it her and telling her that's how far things have come. (I haven't a clue if it would do any good or not.)

 

[Blonde]

I love Christmas. it brightens up an otherwise difficult and depressing time of year for me. I enjoy the tree in the house - it smells and looks lovely. I enjoy cooking and eating the food. We are having goats cheese and sun dried tomato tarts for starters, then a braised guinea fowl for main course. My Dad has made us a Christmas pudding (helped by my neice). My partner's auntie will come over for dinner with us in the evening after we've been out cycling. I enjoy the time off work at Christmas, to go cycling, or just to snugggle at home with my loved one. I enjoy seeing my family and friends at New Year. I love it all.

I don't find it at all stressful and I just spend what I can (just about) afford on gifts. My family like to receive interesting and artisan cheeses and sausages, and local Lancashire black puddings, etc. so they are not difficult to buy for - and I will be seeing them over new Year, so won't be buying any of that stuff till 30th December or it will go off before they get it!

 

[John the Monkey]

I've spent most of this year out of the house for 12 hours (or more) every workday with pretty early starts. I've missed family holidays because of system upgrades that users cancelled at the last minute, or the need to be on call. I'm looking forward to Christmas as an opportunity to see more of the immediate family, and see the people I've not spent much time with this year - I've bought some very silly games for us all to do, some (I hope) imaginative presents for the important people in my life that I want to see their reactions to.

It can't come soon enough for me.

 

[NickM]

I ignore all that "festive" crap. No children to pander to, and I don't care about relatives, blood not being thicker than water whatever people say.

It means I don't have to attend the place of daily incarceration, which is obviously a copper-bottomed Good Thing. I feel sorry for people who work in retail or other jobs which don't give them an extended break.

Can't listen to the radio on 25/12, but I have a large CD collection, and there are usually a few gems broadcast in the dog days between Xmas and New Year.

I'm going to have a major cull of the bookshelves tomorrow, to bring gladness to the local Oxfam shop and get some of the teetering piles off the floor. Lunch will be scrambled eggs, and dinner whatever is in the freezer.

Then MsM and I are off to walk the (Brecon) Beacons Way, which will keep us busy until everybody else has gone back to work

 

[tyred]

I hate all the commercialised aspect of Christmas nowadays. I hate people who fill every inch of the outside of their homes with ott decorations. I like a simple Christmas and ignore all the other stuff.

 

[ChrisKH]

I loved Christmas for a VERY long time...as a boy it was a magical time surrounded by loving family who (unknown to me ) worked their arses off to give me a happy childhood. As a younge rman I loved the time we had as a couple, then as a father I revelled in all that Christmas meant (and expected).

These days I feel empty, going through the motions. My son is no a child anymore, he's seeking out his own path and doesnt want me to guide him, he's like I was and now I know how much I may have hurt my parents. I wan to be with them more as they grow old, the made me who I am and I will miss them when they are gone. I feel unable to look after them as they did me and that eat's me up.

This year I am hanging onto Christmas's past, repeats of the two Ronnies and Noel and things that didnt last.

Inside I know this will be our last Christmas together so it's all about playing the game, holding the sinking ship together and doing the right thing for our son who needs a stable family home still.

Christmas has a different meaning for me now. I want to go to Church again on Christmas eve. My family have decided they dont this year because it's 'boring'...and so I will go alone at midnight, and they will wonder what's wrong with me. God has become critical in my life. Few understand that.

I feel lonley and lost, cast adrift. 2009 will be THE definative year in my life. Lonliness on one's own is understandable, but loneliness in a marriage ...well I have no words for that.

So..do i hate Christmas?.. No.. I just don't love it anymore.

Sorry to hear that BTFB. I know where you're coming from on the parent front and I never said thanks to my Mum and Dad before they went. Regrets? Many.

Your son, though, it is not a bad thing. The fact that he feels he can make his own way means you have prepared him well and he knows it, even if he woudn't recognise it as such at his age. We all do it eventually. You can still be there for him though. That's what parents are for and he will still stumble on the way. That's when you step in. Will he be grateful? Probably not, but we don't do it for the thanks, although a thank you and a sign of appreciation would be nice now and then. His life has reached a turning point it would seem and maybe yours has too. I can only say, try to be positive about the future and decide what you want to do with it.

You would be welcome to join my family and me for Mass this evening. We have to do the early one (5pm) and it's a full Catholic Mass, but I'm not a Catholic and it has never stopped me. I'm told God will be joining us.

Otherwise, I would like to wish you a Happy Christmas with your family and a prosperous New Year. I sincerely hope you can find some peace.

Chris

 

[Speicher]

When I was young, I did not live in this country until I was about ten years old, so I did not have "traditional" Christmasses. We lived in places like India and Arabia, and I cannot remember receiving presents or what we did on 25th December.

Then when, as a family we returned to this country, my father chose to work abroad, and would fly back to wherever he was working on the 28th December. So as Christmas approached, I knew it was time for him to leave, and I might see him the next summer, or sometimes, not until the next Christmas.

These days, I like Christmas to be Peaceful. relaxed, and uncomplicated.
The small tree has a few presents under it, and my mother is here for a week. We are going to a Carol Service at 5pm today, and will be cooking lunch together tomorrow. She is nearly ninety.

 

[Plax]

I'm indifferent to Christmas. I'd rather not bother myself. If I had my way I wouldn't, but I know I'd upset my family if I didn't so put up with it for their benefit. My parents are divorced so I usually go to my mums at Christmas and my dads on Boxing Day. I have, over the years, learnt the art of blending into the corner of the room with a book / handheld console, or as I am doing now - on the computer, whilst everyone else shouts at each other.