How do you treat your 'friends' that use their phones when driving?

[mustang1]

I tell people they should go on holiday with their families while the airline pilot is having a casual phone conversation with his wife during take off, or a surgeon is performing an operation while chatting on the phone. Let's see if the idiots like that.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

Tonight my wife has fallen out with me!

A friend of hers/ours phoned and I told my wife to say goodbye and hang up. The person that called often does so as she is driving home from work in central Manchester and fancies a chat. On several occasions I have strongly suggested that she refuses to talk to this person when driving. Even though she uses a handsfree set up, so claims the phone use is legal & safe, I know the person involved doesn't have great awareness when driving and using a phone, handsfree or otherwise, is a big distraction even for the best of drivers.
Tonight I talked loudly over their conversation and told the other person that she shouldn't be calling people to 'chat' when she is driving. My behaviour forced them to end the call and now I am on the receiving end of some serious 'cold shoulder'!
On several occasions in the past I have told my wife not to make casual use of the phone when driving as it is a safety issue and I have said the same thing to her friend a couple of times, so it's not like my behaviour is really unexpected.

In my experience and opinion any use of a phone, handsfree or otherwise, while driving is a distraction and unsafe. If you must make or receive a call then it should be brief enough only for the essential details to be communicated (I'm running late, I'm driving and will call you later, etc). I've seen far too many drivers slowing down inexplicably or weaving from side to side as they try to concentrate on a phone conversation rather than the activity of driving.

How should we be treating people we know that use a phone while driving? IMO it should become an activity that is as socially unacceptable and discouraged as drink driving. I'm sure that there have been studies that show handsfree phone use to be at least as dangerous as drink driving?

I'm not surprised you are getting the cold shoulder - how embarrassing for your wife for you to talk over her conversation.

The fact that you tell (as in 'told') your wife what to do doesn't help either.

Surely you discuss matters such as these in private?

NB: I don't disagree entirely about you no calls whilst driving sentiment although a hands free call seems no more dangerous to me than talking to another occupant of the car tbh.

 

[byegad]

I have no difficulty in seeing the obvious dangers of using a hand held phone. Come to that, smoking a cigarette looks to be at least as dangerous.
I'm not so certain about handsfree. My last 4 or 5 cars have had a Bluetooth connection and a button, on the steering wheel.
While I've rarely used it other than to take an occasional incoming call, it seems to me the same or less dangerous than talking to another person in the car. Especially if, like the guy I followed once from Whitby to Guisborough, where the driver was constantly turning his head to speak to someone in the rear seat!
If using a hands free is banned I'll certainly obey the law, but I'd be interested to see the stat's one this.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

If someone calls me when they're driving, hands-free or not, I cut the call short and ask them to call back when they've parked up or finished their journey. I don't want to hear them having a collision.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

a hands free call seems no more dangerous to me than talking to another occupant of the car tbh.

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/scie...ngerous-so-why-do-car-firms-still-promote-it#

"Decades of research has demonstrated drivers on the phone are four times more likely to be involved in an accident than undistracted drivers, regardless of whether they’re using a hand-held or hands-free system. This increased risk lasts for around five minutes after the call has ended, suggesting that interacting with the technology isn’t the only issue. It seems that phone conversations take the driver’s focus away from their primary task of driving, even after they’ve hung up. People are largely unaware that their minds wander like this, or that it can affect their driving."

 

[byegad]

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/scie...ngerous-so-why-do-car-firms-still-promote-it#

"Decades of research has demonstrated drivers on the phone are four times more likely to be involved in an accident than undistracted drivers, regardless of whether they’re using a hand-held or hands-free system. This increased risk lasts for around five minutes after the call has ended, suggesting that interacting with the technology isn’t the only issue. It seems that phone conversations take the driver’s focus away from their primary task of driving, even after they’ve hung up. People are largely unaware that their minds wander like this, or that it can affect their driving."

That's interesting, thank you. I wonder if there's similar research on talking to passengers?

 

[annedonnelly]

IMO it should become an activity that is as socially unacceptable and discouraged as drink driving.

Definitely! A shift in general attitude is needed, we can't expect the police to be everywhere to enforce the rules. It's not so long ago that everyone left their dog's mess behind. Now it's socially unacceptable and the vast majority of people pick up after their dog.

I wouldn't travel with anyone who used their phone while driving - and I've reported bus drivers for doing it while I was on board.

 

[fossyant]

Oh heck. I agree with you and we discussed this the other night.

I usually check if someone is driving and will say, I'll call you back. Even if I catch MrsF whilst she is driving, I'll keep it really short. The only time I've used mine when driving is to let MrsF know when I'm picking her up - but I use Google hands free function to send her a text. Eg. 'Hello Google, text MrsF to say I'm on my way'.

You'll be in the bad books for a while, but you have told her previously.

 

[sheddy]

A passenger should be able to sense an approaching hazard/driver workload/decision making and wait before annoying their driver.

 

[T4tomo]

right message delivered in an appalling clumsy way. I bet you're a joy to live with.

 

[Drago]

Anyone who thinks it's ok to break laws that are there for our safety is no friend of mine. Fortunately, Mrs D is an ex Bobby herself so agrees with me completely on that without me having to tell her.

 

[dan_bo]

I must have missed that section of the law. The number of times drink drivers told me they werd ok to drive. It must be the same with phones.

Its not multiple choice. It says you dont use the phone when driving. It negates those who cock up.

Well hows about mandatory signal jammers in cars then. If the government was arsed about it they'd sort it in a shot. It's not a black and white issue.

 

[sheddy]

Effin heck, that put tears in my eyes.
I know people who will still watch that and deny they are drivinig dangerously. It p-sses me right off, their stinking attitude and stupid excuses. Their blxxdy selfishness putting other people's lives in jeopardy.

I’d like to know if/when these videos are transmitted on Ireland TV.

 

[Deleted User]

A few issues here as I see it,

Should people drive around using their phone, NO obviously for all the reasons stated.

If in a car with someone who goes to use their phone whilst driving, fully justified to express your thoughts and point out the dangers etc,etc.

Should you talk over your missus when at home on the phone and embarrass her when really it's F**k all to do with you, errrr no, in my opinion.

If I was on the phone at home to a mate and the wife asked 'who it was and are they driving' then proceeded to do what you did she would get a right bollocking, as I would expect to receive if I did that to her.

You did ask!

 

[I like Skol]

I'm not surprised you are getting the cold shoulder - how embarrassing for your wife for you to talk over her conversation.
The fact that you tell (as in 'told') your wife what to do doesn't help either.
Surely you discuss matters such as these in private?

You're quite right, it has been openly discussed, I have suggested/requested that they don't make these calls (both with my wife and her friend) a number of times. I am not a monster so don't try to portray me as a domineering bully husband thank you very much.

Oh heck. I agree with you and we discussed this the other night.
........
You'll be in the bad books for a while, but you have told her previously.

right message delivered in an appalling clumsy way. I bet you're a joy to live with.

See above.

Should you talk over your missus when at home on the phone and embarrass her when really it's F**k all to do with you, errrr no, in my opinion.

Errrr, yes it is all to do with me, and her, and everyone actually. My wife has had to deal with that call once already, the one where your husband has been scraped up off the road and is now strapped to a spine board in intensive care, so please hurry on down and we will try to find out if he is paralysed before you arrive.
The cost of unnecessarily inattentive and distracted driving can be very high indeed.

I had tried discussion, suggestion and reminding, but that wasn't working so I used the big stick because the carrot approach had failed. It was rude, but if that's what it takes then so be it. It is important and 'nice' won't do it, so if it means making people feel awkward, embarrassing people, being 'rude', then let's get on with it and make things better.