Grossest thing you've encountered

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B

bonj2

Guest
LotTP - that's HORRENDOUS.

Haven't ever seen it, thank god, but the worst thing i've ever heard of is you know the bogs at glastonbury, i.e. just a huge pit with a bench with holes over, well apparently someone once FELL IN.
 
nilling

nilling

Über Member
Location
Preston, UK
Cycling back home one summer along a footpath at the rear of some houses came across a perv with his shorts round his ankles...looked straight ahead and pedalled as fast as....yewk!
 
Cycling Naturalist

Cycling Naturalist

Guru
Location
Llangollen
bonj said:
LotTP - that's HORRENDOUS.

Haven't ever seen it, thank god, but the worst thing i've ever heard of is you know the bogs at glastonbury, i.e. just a huge pit with a bench with holes over, well apparently someone once FELL IN.
Click to expand...


Did he ever get out? :blush:
 
buggi

buggi

Bird Saviour
Location
Solihull
when i was six my family moved to a newly built house. the upstairs loo kept getting blocked. some days it was ok, some days it wasn't. anyway, it got blocked for about a week and my dad had the bright idea that, with it being a new build it was probably part of a brick stuck in the down pipe and all he had to do was find it. the downpipe runs down the outside of the house and there is a checker plate about 3 foot off the ground.

my dad undid the screws and just as he was getting to last bit of the thread... the pressure off the blockage made the plate fly off and everything that was in the pipe from 3 feet off the ground all the way up to the bathroom flew out and landing on my dad. because the checker plate was only 3 foot off the ground, the rush of crap hit my dad and kind of whooshed it's way up (at high velocity) so it ended up all in his mouth and up his nose.

my mom pissed herself laughing. he had loo roll, crap and sanitary towels hanging off him and my mom had to make him undress and hose him down before he could come back in the house.

on the upside, he was right, he found part of a brick.
 
W

Wreck

New Member
I have a similar story to Buggi. In 1980 I was working for a builder who had the maintenance contract for a housing association and we got called out to an estate that had three blocks of flats with sewage backing up into the sinks and baths etc. The 3 buildings waste pipes all ran into one 6 inch pipe and our job was to snake said pipe. My job, as the stupid apprentice, was to stand at the top of the manhole and pass the rods down to "Miserable Les", the plumber. After a couple of minutes he located the blockage and said " Right now, stand back coz when this thing goes it;s gonna go fast!" He shifted the blockage and flew up the ladder, banged his head on the edge of the manhole, fell off on to his arse, stood up and got a fireman's hose like full force face full of undiluted sewage, as he tried to climb the ladder he fell off again. He got out on the third attempt. I've never laughed or puked so much in all my life.
 
buggi

buggi

Bird Saviour
Location
Solihull
Wreck said:
I have a similar story to Buggi. In 1980 I was working for a builder who had the maintenance contract for a housing association and we got called out to an estate that had three blocks of flats with sewage backing up into the sinks and baths etc. The 3 buildings waste pipes all ran into one 6 inch pipe and our job was to snake said pipe. My job, as the stupid apprentice, was to stand at the top of the manhole and pass the rods down to "Miserable Les", the plumber. After a couple of minutes he located the blockage and said " Right now, stand back coz when this thing goes it;s gonna go fast!" He shifted the blockage and flew up the ladder, banged his head on the edge of the manhole, fell off on to his arse, stood up and got a fireman's hose like full force face full of undiluted sewage, as he tried to climb the ladder he fell off again. He got out on the third attempt. I've never laughed or puked so much in all my life.
Click to expand...

that's hilarious. which idiot architect had the idea to have 3 blocks of flats all running into one 6 inch pipe????? disaster waiting to happen!
 
A

angusde

Well-Known Member
Location
Fife, commute to Edinburgh by train and bike
Many years ago I was bimbling along as a white van overtook...

...and out of which was thrown, what looked like a freshly used condom, in my direction!!....

..Much to the hilarity of the boy and girl in the van.

"that was weird" was my predominating thought, the rest of the way home!

Angus
 
simonali

simonali

Guru
Not cycling, but when my future wifey and I went to get our banns read some fella jumped off the multi-storey car park as we were just walking out of it and landed with a big thud about 6 feet away from us! The weird thing was I was more annoyed than shocked coz I thought he should've done it away from where the entrance was. He could've landed on top of us, the selfish dead idiot!

Grossest bike thing is nowhere near as bad. I was once cycling down a road that was a dead end, but there was the ability to cycle down a little path to get out of it. I biked down to the end and found that pikeys had set up camp there. Rather than turn around I thought I'd bravely/stoopidly cycle through the middle of the caravans and out the other side.

Big mistake! One of the pikey scum set their huge dog on me and while it was giving chase and I'm pedalling like mad to get away I rode through a massive turd and having no mudguards me and the bike were liberally spattered in it. I'm still convinced to this day that the poo didn't originate from the dog either! :biggrin:

P.S. Sorry for the resurrection; I was doing a search for summat else and found this.
 
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