Getting rather annoyed

[SpokeyDokey]

From the female perspective both partners need to have interests. Some will involve being together and some won't . This allows you both to have your own space which IMHO is healthy in a relationship.

Space means happy in my book

100% agree with this.

We do stuff together, we do stuff apart. Any potential diary clashes we quickly and amicably sort out. We are always interested what each other is up to when we are 'flying solo'. Differences are as interesting as commonalities. Equals a healthy relationship for us.

Neither of us would be with each other if our relationship did not work like this.

For the OP - you have my sympathies and I have no idea what to suggest as I have never been in a lop-sided relationship.

Good luck with whatever you do.

 

[gavroche]

I must say I am one of the lucky ones. If the weather is good, my wife often says:" Are you going for a ride today?" and there is no malice in it, she actually means it. On the other hand, she hates it when I am dressed in my cycling gear, she says I look like a silly old man. Apart from that, I can go for a ride whenever I want.

 

[broady]

My wife takes the micky out of me when wearing my cycling gear too!!

But she doesn't mind me going out on my Tuesday evening and Sunday morning rides each week.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

Bloody hell, some of your 'relationships' sound more like dictatorships instead of partnerships.

 

[wheresthetorch]

When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.

Love is blind you know.

 

[wheresthetorch]

Love is blind you know.

Exactly - luckily for me!!

 

[I like Skol]

With rest of the family who dont give two hoots about the one thing i do for enjoyment .
I dont watch tv , its their programs ,dont smoke , drink etc etc .

This afternoon we are out at a fair , i told swmbo iwould like to get out for an hour this morning so she gets up late so thats out the window."She doent get a lie in all week but gets a full nights sleep every day where i have to cope on 5-6 hours , less proper sleep when im on nights .
Pretty much the same every weekend its a battle to get time for a ride "You ride to work all week"

Truely fecked off with the lot of them


Rant over !!

Don't be so selfish!

 

[The Mighty News]

i know your pain, its only this year I have managed to get out more, as with anything its compromise, the mrs has joined a gym so equally wants to get out and exercise more so we take it in turns. I dont commute so I have been getting up at 5am to do an hour or two also and its beautiful at that time of the morning.

our kids are 9 and 7 so its getting easier

 

[I like Skol]

Seriously though, it isn't easy and there are no easy answers.
I work rotating continental shifts. My wife works 5 days a week, 40 miles from home. We have 2 kids that do many activities on top of going to different schools (older one makes his own way now) and I like cycling and Land Rovers. That is a lot of commitments to try and satisfy before we even think about trying to spend any quality time together as a couple, not forgetting the eternal need for cooking, housework, food shopping, washing clothes etc.....
Sure I'd like to go out cycling every weekend I'm not working and if not then go camping in the 4x4 vbut that just isn't going to happen so the compromise is that I put dates on the calendar months in advance and we plan on these key events being set in stone. Does kind of take away any spontaneity but at least I can aim for a few proper rides a year rather than the pressures of day-to-day living preventing anything from happening.
I guess it would help if your partner shared your pastimes but it seems this is rare. My wife hates the 4x4 thing and is not a keen cyclist but by encouraging her to go to the gym and swim and do the odd exercise class (she is actually enjoying spin classes at the mo) it helps her see how much I enjoy my cycle workouts which makes things a bit easier.
I know it isn't what you want to hear but the cycling has to come second, always family first. You made that choice when you started a family so don't change your mind now!

 

[Smokin Joe]

I know it isn't what you want to hear but the cycling has to come second, always family first. You made that choice when you started a family so don't change your mind now!

Not if you want a respectable Strava time, it doesn't.

 

[Deleted member 35268]

I'm in the same boat, my "poppets" are 10 and 14. Saturday is a no no for a ride, even if the weather forecast says Saturday great, Sunday Sh*te - too many kid activities, swimming, football, gymnastics. I can occasionally plead for mercy and go out on a Sunday but....it means getting up at 6 (oh and DON'T WAKE THE KIDS UP) and being back by say 9.30 am. I'm cool with this, I can't let it take over everything.

Annoyingly, when I return at 9 or 9:30, they are all in bed still on their Ipads and laptops instead of being dressed and ready for whatever it was I came back for.

I am lucky enough to get out in the week, but like in @cyberknight 's case, they are mostly commuting miles!

 

[summerdays]

All to soon they grown up and they want to spend more time with their friends (either actually or online), than with their folks. And you can go off and leave them (my youngest says they are happy to be left in the house overnight on their own .... don't think I'm quite ready for that!!!). Enjoy the time you have with them, all too soon they will have flown the nest (even if they keep flying back in all the time!!!). It can seem quite difficult especially if you have friends or work colleagues who are able to get out and have more free time than you, but it will gradually come. Could you negotiate one free evening ... or drop them to an activity (swimming/cubs/etc), and then immediately set off for a ride timed to get back when they finish (swimming might be a bit too short for a ride, but something like cubs might work).

 

[mjr]

When I put my cycling gear on, I look at my reflection in the mirror and comment on my spindly white legs and bulging gut. My wife then tells me I look amazing , and wishes me a nice ride. She's so pretty.

Probably NSFW but that description made me think of this...

Spoiler

I've worn it but it's not worth it so I don't any more.

 

[Lonestar]

^^^^ The cycling haters posted that up in our messroom st work.