Getting in touch with relatives you haven't spoken to for decades

[oldworld]

My wife and her mum fell out big time and didn't have contact for years.
I told her she should keep in touch as she wouldn't always be there. She did and we've had 20 years of difficulties with her.
She's a nasty person deep down and has very few friends having been rude to most of them.
She fell out with the next door neighbour some 30 years ago and they didn't speak.
After my FIL died he knocked on her door and said I think it's about time we buried the hatched. Her reply was ' Yes in your head!'
Some people are just nasty and don't turn into a sweet old man or lady as they get old.
She now has Dementia but I struggle to find a lot of sympathy for her.
Though I still think it was the right thing to encourage my wife to make contact.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

How do you know your uncle isn’t married?

 

[Accy cyclist]

Are you sure the uncle is still alive, let alone living in the same house If you’ve had no contact for 36 years?

When i cycled past the house earlier this year i asked a bloke a few doors away if he was still there. He said yes,but i suppose 8 months on he might not be. Only one way to find out! I don't think he'll be in any phone directory as they/he never had a phone. Probably so that no one could get in touch with him.

 

[Accy cyclist]

How do you know your uncle isn’t married?

Let's just say he wasn't the marrying type.

 

[vickster]

Civil partnership then

 

[Accy cyclist]

Civil partnership then

Yeah maybe.

 

[postman]

Look him up on FB. I understand people dont know you have looked for them.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Look him up on FB. I understand people dont know you have looked for them.

Just looked. As i thought he isn't on there. He wasn't really the type to be all friendly and have a laugh.


Edit.....On a bit of a side note i looked my best man from my wedding up the other day. No one i know has seen him in 18 or so years. Now he was the have a laugh friendly out going type,so you'd think he'd be on there,but no trace of him anywhere!🤔

 

[Ming the Merciless]

FB isn’t exactly the have a laugh place though is it? It more of a narcissists god help me mirror isn’t it?

 

[PaulSB]

Do whatever feels right but keep in mind he hasn't contacted you in all that time.

My sister chose to cut herself off from the entire family, with the exception of our aunt, 30 years ago. Initially I made efforts to get in touch but these were rebuffed. I won't bother again.

If neither of you have been in touch in 36 years there has to be a reason why on both sides.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Do whatever feels right but keep in mind he hasn't contacted you in all that time.

My sister chose to cut herself off from the entire family, with the exception of our aunt, 30 years ago. Initially I made efforts to get in touch but these were rebuffed. I won't bother again.

If neither of you have been in touch in 36 years there has to be a reason why on both sides.

He(uncle)might think me and my brother took our dad's side,which we did at the time,but dad's been dead 19 years and things move on. What happened happened 36 years ago. I don't hold a grudge against him and never really did,though i wouldn't have told my dad that. And to be fair their mother made that will,not my uncle!

 

[Joffey]

Maybe wait until lockdown is over...

 

[Accy cyclist]

NO!

Then you'll have to share the spoils with your brother.

Think man, think! 😡

😉😉

Just had a horrible thought.Maybe my brother's beaten me to it and been over to see him...and tapped him up regarding the will!!!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Just had a horrible thought.Maybe my brother's beaten me to it and been over to see him...and tapped him up regarding the will!!!

Maybe he’s left it all to the step sister your dad never told you about?

 

[Saluki]

I spoke to my Aunt a fortnight ago. First time in getting on for 30 years. She was always my favourite Aunt and I love her dearly.
i turned away from the rest of my toxic family and didn’t trust that she wouldn’t say anything. She has been looking for me since the mid 90s so I must have done a good vanishing job. It was lovely to speak to her and to my cousin. Nice to reconnect.