Cheers Peanut for being jokular.
See my Thread in 'Road rides, Audax etc' about Garmin Calorie counting.
A bit of thinking 'outside the box' lead me to consider there were 'hidden' factors in the Calorie formulation.
I could have simply believed what was being displayed, but my wisdom told me there is an untold system at work.
It took me ten years of research to formulate my Cals sheets, followed by confirmation from my peers.
I am a reasonable man, in every sense of the word...