Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
@Dogtrousers your Kamal and the Colonel's son clue would mean absolutely nothing to me without the help of Wikipedia. The Ballad of East and West suggests somewhere near the East/West Sussex border, but looking at the map I've yet to spot a strong candidate.
You're getting very warm, but not for quite the reason that you think. It is Sussex, but the East and West doesn't refer to East and West Sussex.