Friday limerick comp anyone?

[Tetedelacourse]

OT but what's happened to Phoebus?

 

[Globalti]

Mary had a little pig
and it was always gruntin'.

She tied it to a five-bar gate
and kicked its little head in.

Is that a Limerick?

 

[Elmer Fudd]

OT but what's happened to Phoebus?

I was thinking that as well

 

[bof]

I once saw a lesbian on a bike
Whose machine was broken, like
She said "If you can successfully meddle"
"With my wonky pedal"
"You can party all night with this dike"

 

[Brock]

A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, the metre is wrong and it does not scan.

It scans fine when I read it. Maybe you've got hiccups?

Here's a quick go at one anyway..
I am a fat bloke with a beard,
some say I'm decidedly weird,
for I ride in to work,
through wind, rain and murk,
and arrive quite unsuitably cheered.

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

Wish I could spell pedantic

 

[Brock]

Sir Hippo they said, is pedantic
He'll argue a point, all semantic
though it's clear all along,
He's really just wrong,
but his ego is just too gigantic.

 

[Brock]

A splendid young filly called Arch
put a spring in one lawyerly march.
She eyed up his suit
and asked with a hoot
'How on earth is that held up? with starch?'

 

[Pete]

Well - just been posting on a thread about Sussex climbs - so - let me think...

Well, the last time I went for the Beacon,
I felt sure that my front tyre was leaking,
But, 'twas no failure rubbery,
That made me dive for shrubbery,
But the fact that my bladder did weaken...

 

[Smeggers]

There is a lawyer called Patrick
Who although is quite geriatric
quite fancied a student
which wasnt so prudent
and now needs help psychiatric

 

[Aperitif]

There was a young panter from Sittingbourne,
whose bib shorts were always getting torn;
From very first light
to the darkness of night,
cycling, just until they were torn.

Total crap! First time I have looked at a pc since early this morning and the last word of the second line was supposed to have been 'worn'...what a muppet!

 

[Panter]

I did wonder........

Hell, it was better than my effort


Some top rhymes there, made me laugh anyway. And thats what Friday should be about, laughter

 

[Johnny Thin]

There was a young skater called Mikey
Who, thinking he'd sussed Charlotte's psyche,
Made a figure of eight
Then asked for a date;
She burbled, dumbfounded, "Oh crikey!"

 

[Brock]

There was a young skater called Mikey
Who, thinking he'd sussed Charlotte's psyche,
Made a figure of eight
Then asked for a date;
She burbled, dumbfounded, "Oh crikey!"

nice!

Would suggest 'she retorted with venom 'NOT LIKELY!' for the last line myself, but then I don't know the details of this particular situation

 

[Panter]

Best announce a winner I 'spose. seeing as everyones been on the edge of their seats...........

Congratulations to <drum roll please>

Brock, for this effort:

I am a fat bloke with a beard,
some say I'm decidedly weird,
for I ride in to work,
through wind, rain and murk,
and arrive quite unsuitably cheered.

speech, speech...

And second place to Fnaar:

There was a young poet called Dan
Whose poetry just didn't scan.
When askd why 'twas so
He said "I don't know...
But perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I can't resist trying to put as many words into the last line as I possibly...can!

There was a young man on a trike
Who fancied a girl on a bike
But his back wheels got stuck
Bumping over a rut
Which was a bit of a shame, really, as he couldn't catch her up and ask her to go to the pictures with him.

I keep changing my mind so I'll leave it at that for now, but am open to bribes. Paypal to the usual addy please...............