Im afraid there are some bike shops (like any sort of shops) where the staff are dismissive and don't give a toss, sounds like you've been unlucky to hit several in a row. I expect they'd be much the same if a woman went in an asked for something specific - it sounds like they just want to sell what they want to sell, and if they don't reckon you'll buy it, they aren't bothered. If you're not a kid wanting something full suss and pose-y, forget it... Name and shame them I say. They deserve to go under.
Also, it can make a difference if it's the boss, or just the saturday staff etc - I've had variable experiences in the same shop... Sometimes, it's just down to whether they think you know what you're talking about (which is crap, because someone who doesn't now, is the person who needs the best help).
Definately persevere....
