Excuses for being late

[Greedo]

Know a guy who once told an old boss who was a woman that the flux capacator on his car packed in and had to get the bus. She even let him away early to get his car fixed

A guy who works with a mate of mine came in quite late one morning and it was before everyman and his dog had mobiles. He said he got about 1 mile from work he looked in his interior mirror and his budgie was perched on the headreast, he says it must have flown out of the house into the car when he was getting in, and he had to take it home again

 

[tyred]

This one is actually true. I used to get the bus to college and the man who drove it lived quite close to me and as he used to have the bus home with him, I used to walk to his house every morning. One morning, he couldn't find the keys for the bus, made me and everyone else who used that bus service about fifty minutes late, I walked into a lecture very late, the lecturer asked me why I was late, I told him the bus driver had lost the keys to the bus and I had to help him look for them and the lecturer didn't believe me and suggested if I was going to make up excuses for being late, I should make them believable!

 

[Greedo]

This one is actually true. I used to get the bus to college and the man who drove it lived quite close to me and as he used to have the bus home with him, I used to walk to his house every morning. One morning, he couldn't find the keys for the bus, made me and everyone else who used that bus service about fifty minutes late, I walked into a lecture very late, the lecturer asked me why I was late, I told him the bus driver had lost the keys to the bus and I had to help him look for them and the lecturer didn't believe me and suggested if I was going to make up excuses for being late, I should make them believable!

 

[spandex]

Late? what is that? I do not know that word

 

[Mr Pig]

Late? what is that? I do not know that word

Are you German?

 

[numbnuts]

I had a mate that would only work a four day week, he got paid on Thursday night and went out on the piss and would have Friday off, he was brought up before the superintendent, I was there as his union rep, the super said "why do you only work a four day week"
he replied "because I can’t manage on three"

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Sorry I'm late...I'm Spanish.

 

[spandex]

Are you German?

No I just can not be late I can be at work at 8am or 11am I will still be on time.

 

[dudi]

i'm never late... I always leave with enough time to get to work even if i get a p'tre and have to walk in...

 

[buggi]

i was late so often for one job that it came apparent one day that my boss (who joined the company after me) actually thought i started quarter of an hour later than i was supposed to

 

[Rhythm Thief]

i was late so often for one job that it came apparent one day that my boss (who joined the company after me) actually thought i started quarter of an hour later than i was supposed to

I managed to <ahem> "adjust" my start time by an hour, from 11am to noon, simply by repeatedly turning up late for work.

 

[DJ]

i'm never late... I always leave with enough time to get to work even if i get a p'tre and have to walk in...

Oooh, you sound really annoying!

 

[DJ]

I new I was going to be late today so I waited til the time I am supposed to be at work, and then phoned in and said I have a p'ture.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I new I was going to be late today so I waited til the time I am supposed to be at work, and then phoned in and said I have a p'ture.

Yes, I do that. If ever I sleep in or anything, I always get up, shower, have a coffee and some breakfast and then phone and tell them I've just woken up.

 

[Keith Oates]

When I worked in London I had a colleague who was always late or making excuses for having a day off, I heard the boss say to him on one occasion 'George, that's the 5th time you asked for a day off to attend your Grannies funeral'.
However on one occassion when he was overseas on a job he rang the office and I answered the phone and told him there were not many people in the office due to a train strike. He became angry and said, in very flowery language, that he would take a day off when he returned to the UK to make up for the day he missed having off because of the strike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!