Ever amazed by your own stupidity?

[Dogtrousers]

My first car was a wee Renault 5 and I was constantly at the scrapyards looking for bits and pieces. I found a driver's side door in perfect nick that would replace my scratched one so bought it and headed home to fit it. The bolts holding the old one on were a bugger to get off but eventually the new one was fitted and I stepped back to close it.

Who knew that doors from a 5 door model are smaller than a 3 door model?

This reminds me of a very old story that my dad told me about his brother. It was the late 50s/early 60s and he'd bought a car for the first time. Reversing it through a gateway he wasn't sure about clearance so he opened the driver's door and stuck his head out to look back and see. He then forgot that the door was open. You can guess the rest.

 

[PK99]

This reminds me of a very old story that my dad told me about his brother. It was the late 50s/early 60s and he'd bought a car for the first time. Reversing it through a gateway he wasn't sure about clearance so he opened the driver's door and stuck his head out to look back and see. He then forgot that the door was open. You can guess the rest.

40 years ago, lived in a house with a 1 in 3 slope driveway up from the garage to the wide pavement.
Pulled car onto the pavement to do some DIY maintenance (remember when that was possible???)
Finished job.
Set off down the slope to return the car to the garage forgetting I had not fully closed one of the rear doors, which swung open.
Gate posts are very hard and leave a nice dent and crease in car doors even at low speed

 

[Mr Celine]

This afternoon I changed the bar tape on my bike. Unlike most jobs of two halves, this is one where the second half takes several times longer than the first half. Eventually it was finished and it looks great. Now for the stupid bit.

The extensive lawns at Celine Towers take an hour to cut with a petrol mower, after which my hands are sometimes tingling due to the vibration of the plain steel handlebar. Why not wrap it with the used bar tape, which was cork gel tape and still in reasonable condition apart from being manky?
So I took the best length of old tape into the garden shed and wrapped it the reverse way so the cleaner side showed (it was originally white). After securing the ends with insulation tape I stepped back to admire the fantastic job I'd made of it.

When the mower is put away in the shed the handle is folded in half for storage. I hadn't wrapped the handlebar, I'd wrapped the crosspiece where the handle folds.

 

[Gillstay]

40 years ago, lived in a house with a 1 in 3 slope driveway up from the garage to the wide pavement.
Pulled car onto the pavement to do some DIY maintenance (remember when that was possible???)
Finished job.
Set off down the slope to return the car to the garage forgetting I had not fully closed one of the rear doors, which swung open.
Gate posts are very hard and leave a nice dent and crease in car doors even at low speed

Done similar, car all serviced then ran over new socket set as went down drive....

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Proof that I don't get wiser with age. This morning I spotted a big weed between my shed and the conifer hedge. I didn't want to put weedkiller on it because that would be stupid wouldn't it? I'm not daft after all. No, I thought I'd use my wee propane weed burning wand because that would be the smart thing to do.

Who knew that the bottom branches of conifers under hedges are so dry?

The flames started. Shitshitshit. I remembered my fire extinguisher. Grabbed it. There's a lot of smoke now. Pulled the pin, pointed it at the base of the fire, squeezed the trigger and got a blast of white powder. Yay. Then it stopped - within 2 seconds with the flames now coming out the top of the hedge. shitshitshit. Water! Get water! Picked up a bucket, ran into the kitchen and started filling it from the sink. Taking too long, about half full I ran out and chucked it at the hedge. The fire cackled with laughter. shitshitshit. I must have about £10k worth of tools in there. Hose! Get the hose. Got the hose, plugged it in at the sink and ran to the fire. Too short. Flames now up the side of the shed and the wee jet of water doesn't reach. shitshitshit. Get the hose reel extension. Plugs it in. Nothing comes out. Shitshitshit. Neighbours are coming out to watch the show.

"Are you alright son?"

Don't swear. Don't swear. Find the hose nozzle, put the fire out.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

I burnt my lip on a slice of pizza last night, I should have known it was hot, I cooked the blooming thing and knew I should have let it cool for a few minutes, but didn't.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Addendum

Later that afternoon, lying watching the telly I noticed white smoke billowing past the kitchen window.

"Oh, someone's having a barbecue"

Five


Four



Three



Shitshitshit

Leapt up and ran to find the plant basket thing which had been above the flames was smouldering and behind it ..

Almost burnt all the way through

 

[Dogtrousers]

@Joey Shabadoo has the weed grown back yet? Just to laugh at you.

 

[rliu]

Did the classic trying to screw pedals on the wrong side earlier on brand new crankset, luckily never tried to force anything but can see the first ring of the threads are slightly worn now - bit worried it won't take the correct pedal properly now

 

[Chris S]

I couldn't undo the ball ring on my Sturmey Archer hub no matter how hard I tried.
Then I realized that I hadn't undone the cone on the other side. The ball ring was pulling against it via the cone on its side and the axle.

 

[Jameshow]

This reminds me of a very old story that my dad told me about his brother. It was the late 50s/early 60s and he'd bought a car for the first time. Reversing it through a gateway he wasn't sure about clearance so he opened the driver's door and stuck his head out to look back and see. He then forgot that the door was open. You can guess the rest.

I went for a job interview and managed to roll my car into the guys garage door opps!!!

 

[Milzy]

I went for a job interview and managed to roll my car into the guys garage door opps!!!

Did you make some Frank Spencer noises hhmmmm. LOL.

 

[Chris S]

I put my helmet upside down in a sink while I used a public toilet. It triggered a sensor which turned on the tap and showered it with water.

 

[Alex321]

Not me, but my brother in law a few years back, went to hammer in a post in the garden with a sledge hammer. Forgot there was a washing line running just in front of him until the sledgehammer caught it and sprang back.

Resulted in rather a large lump on his forehead , but fortunately no long term damage (apart from him being reminded of it at every opportunity).

 

[rockyroller]

it occurred to me tonight, that teeth are waterproof