Ever amazed by your own stupidity?

[mustang1]

I did see a picture of a dog who had smelt the sweet wrapper that a kid had fed through the shredder
poor mut was lucky a human was nearby and hear the scream

apparently he recovered just fine - but with a squared off tongue



on a different note my ex never really believed Microwaves worked as advertised
so assessed the correct time to cook a salmon fillet for was about 10 minutes


after we broke up I started using that Microwave
it took me about 3 years to properly clean all the residue from the inside - it was a week or two before I could even use it properly!

BLXXDY HECK!!!!??? The poor thing. Speechless.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I've posted about this before, but for the benefit of newer members here it is again. In my early window cleaning days there was a customer who had a car with a sign on the roof. it read DR VING. For ages i thought mmm Doctor Ving eh, maybe he's some sort of Indian mystic or summat?🤔 Then one day i decided to have a closer look at the roof sign. On looking closely at it i saw there was a letter I missing between the R and the V. The sign should've said DRIVING with a much smaller INSTRUCTOR beneath.

 

[CharlesF]

I could fill a book of my stupidity. One that stands out concerns dart board and darts that I got for Xmas, aged 13?.

After few weeks I got bored and hung the dart board on the wooden garage door, ran to the bottom of the drive and flung the darts.

It got tiresome going up and down the drive, and I solved that by attaching fish line to one dart.

Threw the dart, whose flight was erratic and it pegged into the door.

Yank on the fishing line and the dart returned, yeah!

No! It embedded itself in my right kneecap.

End of experiment; only later did I understand my lucky escape!

 

[slow scot]

Only on the third day of a bike tour in Shetland did I finally work out why there were so many Shetland ponies around!

 

[DCLane]

Having read the thread I've never been amazed by my stupidity.

Many others are though ...

 

[DCLane]

To start with:

I drove SWMBO and my parents to Saltburn for an evening out. In her new car.

After a nice dinner I wanted down to the beach for a paddle. Only afterwards did I realise that I'd dropped her new car keys into the sea.

But ... they also had a key to the local secure mental health hospital attached, with a label

Cue SWMBO taking a taxi home, breaking into our house, getting her spare car key and having to explain to her employer that her stupid husband had lost the key to the main entrance door

There are many, many, many more

 

[bagpuss]

As the owner of a number of bicycles with different wheel/tyre sizes ,I did spend a while trying to fit a 700c tyre onto a 27x 1 1/4 rim .No amount of brute force made any difference .Yeh I thought a badly moulded tyre !
Re checked size on side wall.....should of gone to spec savers🤓

 

[Andy in Germany]

My bikes are kept in my apartment, causing me to manage a beaut this morning...

Needed to go shopping. So out of bed, dress, breakfast et c.

Get bag ready. Lock in bag, look for wallet, find wallet in other pair of trou. Look for keys. Also in other pair of trou. Pack into bag. look for coat, find coat. Decide it's too cold for that coat, chenge coat for winter coat. Find winter gloves, find cap. Pick up bag, exit apartment, lock door.

Look for bike.

Bu**er.

Open door, retrieve bike. Ride to shops...

 

[mistyoptic]

I had "measure twice, cut once" drummed in to me from an early age but getting the handing correct sometimes trips me up, especially if I cut from the non-good side.

A long time ago, and far far away, I did O level woodwork. The exam piece was to make the corner of a table frame, mortise and tenon with the rails one upright and one flat.
I made a piece to be proud of… and then realised I’d made a mirror image of the requested item.
quick thinking: note on exam paper, “Dear examiner, I realise I’ve made a mirror image but in my defence, I’m left-handed”.

woodwork teacher was invigilator and told me after he nearly wet himself laughing when he saw my note. Examiner must have seen the funny side too as I got the best grade in the class.

 

[Punkawallah]

As the owner of a number of bicycles with different wheel/tyre sizes ,I did spend a while trying to fit a 700c tyre onto a 27x 1 1/4 rim .No amount of brute force made any difference .Yeh I thought a badly moulded tyre !
Re checked size on side wall.....should of gone to spec savers🤓

Speaking of ‘specsavers’. . .

Got a ‘free eye test’ letter from Specsavers, duly rock up to the shop and present my letter, and the nice man at the counter says ‘Yes you need glasses’. On complimenting him on the speed of the test, and asking how he knew so quickly, it seems I had gone to Vision Express. . .

 

[Rusty Nails]

It was many years ago when I still worked and my kids were younger.

I had been to the pub with colleagues on Christmas Eve and got home late, somehow, slightly the worse for wear and tried to put my son's Christmas present bike together so he could ride it the next morning.

Needless to say, he did not ride it the next morning and I spent that Christmas in the doghouse.

 

[swee'pea99]

Standing at the counter twisting and turning this packet I'm trying to get through the slit - 'it's almost going, maybe if I...' - it took me a good 10 seconds to notice the nice lady's hand waving in the gap between the screens, as in 'You don't have to figure out how you can get it through the slit. Just give it me. (Idiot.)'

 

[cougie uk]

Only on the third day of a bike tour in Shetland did I finally work out why there were so many Shetland ponies around!

I need to know why...

 

[Chris S]

Only on the third day of a bike tour in Shetland did I finally work out why there were so many Shetland ponies around!

I need to know why...

Because he was in Shetland?

 

[cougie uk]

Because he was in Shetland?

Ohhhhhhh. I see.