Euro Rules for Cycling

[jack the lad]

Bicycles ridden on a pavement or pedestrianised area may have no more than 5psi in the tyres

 

[alecstilleyedye]

all cafés must by law carry enough carrot cake to feed at least 30 cyclists, and may not position the loo across a courtyard with sufficient gravel to make walking in look cleats awkward.

 

[jack the lad]

Cyclists in full team replica lycra must not make eye contact with any other cyclist approaching from the opposite direction.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

there will be a 6ft exclusion zone around the bicycle outwith which helmets may not be worn, especially in cafés and supermarkets.

 

[jack the lad]

It shall be lawful to kill, maim or injure any pedestrian who shouts "she's not pedalling you know" to a tandem rider.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

chrismas themed cycling forum avatars are embargoed until 1 december and after january 1.

 

[Mr Pig]

including all the posties?

No, but all dogs on their runs must be vegi! ;0)

 

[Lazy-Commuter]

Bicycles ridden on a pavement or pedestrianised area may have no more than 5psi in the tyres

.. and the seat must be at its lowest possible position.

 

[jack the lad]

.. and the seat must be at its lowest possible position.

and brakes, where fitted, must be rendered inoperable.

 

[Ravenz]

A spare inner tube must be worn around the waist, but not underneath clothing

 

[theclaud]

All pubs should have at least one fat guy standing at the bar who says "christ, you look sweaty" when a cyclist walks in.

I thought that law had been in place for years...

 

[postman]

Compulsory for roadies to say hello to off roaders when passing each other.Sour faced cyclists must always say hello to my cheery greeting when we pass.

 

[Lazy-Commuter]

and brakes, where fitted, must be rendered inoperable.

and squeaky; in fact they must be almost - but not quite - as squeaky as the chain.

[Can you tell I followed someone like this home the other day? Only I was on the road, of course]

 

[jack the lad]

A bicycle fitted with a basket shall not be ridden at excessive speed. Speed shall be considered excessive if it is likely to disturb the rider's perm or more than 5 mph, whichever is less.

 

[Ravenz]

Much stricter 'Bidon' rule - name enforceable thruout EU and one size 500ml , one colour .. black with pink teat!