Well I've just added to my stupidity tally. My two youngest kids have got decent bikes, a Scott and a Specialized, but they've got a little rusty silver BMX that they love to blast around the back garden. It's had a puncture for ages so I finally got around to fixing it and oiling the thing up today.
Two bricks and a square of chipboard formed a little ramp and they were running down the drive over it.
'What you want to do is pull the front wheel up as you leave the ramp' said the fat pig 'so that both wheels land at the same time or the back wheel lands first.
So idiot pig wobbles onto this tiny bike to show them, like an elephant on a skateboard, and amazingly manages to show them what he means. Which would've been super if they'd been watching, but they weren't, and being stupid enough to push my luck again, it ran out.
Bike crumples under me and I land on my chest on the concrete. Skint knees, chunk out of the shin and winded. Tried to stay brave and wobbled to the kitchen where I sat watching the stars float round my head thinking 'why on earth does someone my age even want to get on a bike in the first place!'. Dipstick.
, big horns, they had), fell off sideways onto verge. Second going along side of a field in middle of nowhere, went thru' puddle, deeper than I thought, bike stopped, I fell off into puddle! 
