Does anyone have a partner . . .

[Cathryn]

That's what I meant to say but I was being too reticent.

On behalf of girls everywhere, be a man and do it properly!

 

[Danny]

So, fairy! Fancy a ride round the States next winter? North West to Key West? 10-12 weeks?

I don't want to get in the way of a budding romance, but have you thought this trip through properly?

If you go diagonally from Washington to Florida you will be going across some very high mountains where cars would normally be expected to have chains, and through some of the mid-west states which it can get seriously cold in winter. I assume you are used to cold and snowy conditions if you are living in Scandinavia, but even so your proposed route sounds quite a challenge.

 

[yenrod]

All the best Dav' mate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dayvo]

buggi and Cathryn!
Don't hold back girls, will you!

If you knew the whole story.
If you knew the circumstances.

I don't think living MY life MY way is too bad a thing, but she refuses to accept a compromise, whereas I am willing to make one.

Apart from this issue of me being away for a few months, we have a very good relationship.
I have never used any girlfriend I've been involved with - or anyone else for that matter - ever.
She has two grown-up children, a career, her own flat and house, and money in the bank. I don't - but I don't care.
If I can get away for a couple of months a year (after an intensive season of hard work) and find some freedom whilst I'm cycling, then I'll do my best to do that. As I said, I'm prepared to compromise . . . !

But, I will talk to her again and see what she proposes.
What difference does it make if I'm working away, or doing 'my thing'? It doesn't change my feelings for her. Our finances are completely separate. We don't live together, we've only known each other three months!

There are several forumers here (or their partners) who work away from home for long periods. What is the difference?

buggi! I'm sorry you were treated badly.
Cathryn! I'm pleased you have a partner who is happy and willing to share your hobby.
But please don't make judgements without knowing the facts, or assuming that all men are bastards.

 

[Dayvo]

All the best Dav' mate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers Yenners!

 

[Cathryn]

I honestly don't think men are bastards, I like them enormously and generally think they're really nice. But I have to be honest I was uncomfy that you're posting on a forum about how you don't want to be with your girlfriend but haven't had the chat with her about it.

I really haven't judged you and realise relationships are complex, but you do owe her a honest conversation instead of telling us about it. I would be devastated if the husband did this to me instead of talking to me about it.

 

[Dayvo]

. . . but have you thought this trip through properly?

No, I haven't.

But, assuming I don't get stabbed in the back here, or receive two (perhaps dozens of ) letters containing thallium from England, at this stage I intend on cycling from Vancouver to Seattle, down the Washington coast into California, into Arizona, then New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida and finally Key West. A trip of 'about' 4,000 miles.

But again, this is still only a seed, although it's growing rapidly.

 

[jonesy]

"But please don't make judgements without knowing the facts, or assuming that all men are bastards."

Er, sorry to say it Dayvo, but one of the more obvious facts 'here' is that you are discussing your relationship on a web forum rather than with your girlfriend! Not something a gentleman would do...

 

[Dayvo]

Dayvo, if I was your girlfriend I would be seriously pissed off that you were discussing me or our relationship with a bunch of strangers on an internet forum. No offence but think about it!

True! But what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over!

I would be unhappy if I found out how she talks about me with her workmates and friends, as she does, as one of her friends let a comment slip recently, to which I didn't react, but none of what I've mentioned will be excluded when I talk to her about this. I don't like be given ultimatums ('it's the bike or me' kind of thing), and from someone who professes to enjoy cycling.
No, perhaps a forum is an inappropriate place to discuss this kind of issue; call it an error of judgement, but I didn't realise how many self-righteous people there are here.

 

[yenrod]

I can see where Davyo is coming from in regards to the discussion.

I just can. I see it as being like 'a bit of advice' !

No more, no less.

We've all done it to some greater or lesser degree..

 

[Cathryn]

Oi, we're not self righteous at all!! You asked what we thought, we said 'talk to her about it'.

 

[Dayvo]

"But please don't make judgements without knowing the facts, or assuming that all men are bastards."

Er, sorry to say it Dayvo, but one of the more obvious facts 'here' is that you are discussing your relationship on a web forum rather than with your girlfriend! Not something a gentleman would do...

Oh dear, this is getting out of hand!
I HAVE discussed this with her! It's her stance and unwillingness to compromise (and after only three months together that she's making such demands on me) that led me here for some advice/guidance/support and even criticism.

There aslo seems to be a fair amount of hypocrisy regarding subjects that can be rightfully discussed here and those that can't.

 

[jonesy]

Er, so who is being hypocritical?

 

[Cathryn]

Okay, let's calm it down as it's bedtime. Dayvo, you asked what I thought, I told you. I'm glad you've talked to her about it, that's the right thing to do.

It does sound like she really likes you which (although you might find it limiting) is quite a nice problem to have!!

 

[Dayvo]

from buggi

DON'T BE SUCH A SPINELESS TW@T!!! Stop using her, be a man and tell her you don't think you are compatible and it's over.

from Cathryn

That's what I meant to say but I was being too reticent.

On behalf of girls everywhere, be a man and do it properly!

If the cap fits, Cathryn!
Although I WASN'T directing that comment at you!
If you had read my posts you will have seen that I have tried, in vain, talking to her, which, in my frustration, led me here, to get it off my chest and vent my feelings.