Donger
Convoi Exceptionnel
- Location
- Quedgeley, Glos.
I've never really had a phobia, but I'm working on acquiring one. Claustrophobia has never been an issue until a couple of experiences in the last few years. When we visit a town that we are not familiar with, my wife usually heads straight for the shops, while I would rather do a bit of tourism. And so it is that I have twice found myself climbing up tight little spiral staircases in church towers to try to get some decent aerial photos.
Now anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I am just about the same size as Jonah Lomu. When climbing tight little spiral staircases in towers like the ones in the middle of Oxford and Ludlow, this is a bit of an issue. The other week I went up the one in Ludlow, and had the door locked behind me with a loud clunk by an old lady from the church gift shop who had already forgotten about me once while I was waiting to go up!. This was the way in (I am 6 foot 6, and the door is about 5 foot 6!!):
It immediately became clear that my shoulders touched both walls at the same time, which was a little unnerving. I started to climb and found that the steep stone steps were little narrow slivers that my size 14 plates of meat just wouldn't fit on .... so I had to splay my right foot out to get any purchase. This was sort of OK for about 50 steps or so, but then the unnatural position made me start to cramp up. The thought did occur to me that, if I actually got into trouble, any rescue would probably involve having to be roped up to the top and evacuated by helicopter! I eventually made it to the top, scraping both walls all the way, with only a rough rope down the middle to hang on to, and had to scramble out of a shoddy wooden hatch to get out onto the roof . This then required virtually having to jump back in through the hatch and hoping to be able to land on one of the tiny steps without plunging down into the void. No grab handles or guard rails. I counted the steps on the way down .... 195 of the buggers! Let me out! My shoulders were touching both walls again all the way down, and there was barely room on each step for my heels . Then I had to fumble with the lock to let myself out at the bottom. Phew! Made it. Had actually come out in a sweat from the tension of it. (Just about worth it for the views, though):
Had a similar experience in the middle of Oxford a couple of years ago, with the added problem of having to bend double at several points to find enough head clearance! I am pretty sure that in both instances I was the absolute biggest person who could possibly have squeezed their way in and climbed to the top. Nobody with bigger feet than size 14 and who is taller than me should ever attempt this!
This one was from the top of the tower in Oxford (featuring Mrs Donger sat under the tree down below):
Again, the effort and the unnervingly cramped conditions were just about worth it for the views, but I'm starting to question the wisdom. One of these days I could just crack. If you don't believe me, just try it. (Wondering whether @gavgav or @Rickshaw Phil might have been up the one in Ludlow?)
Now anyone who knows me will vouch for the fact that I am just about the same size as Jonah Lomu. When climbing tight little spiral staircases in towers like the ones in the middle of Oxford and Ludlow, this is a bit of an issue. The other week I went up the one in Ludlow, and had the door locked behind me with a loud clunk by an old lady from the church gift shop who had already forgotten about me once while I was waiting to go up!. This was the way in (I am 6 foot 6, and the door is about 5 foot 6!!):
It immediately became clear that my shoulders touched both walls at the same time, which was a little unnerving. I started to climb and found that the steep stone steps were little narrow slivers that my size 14 plates of meat just wouldn't fit on .... so I had to splay my right foot out to get any purchase. This was sort of OK for about 50 steps or so, but then the unnatural position made me start to cramp up. The thought did occur to me that, if I actually got into trouble, any rescue would probably involve having to be roped up to the top and evacuated by helicopter! I eventually made it to the top, scraping both walls all the way, with only a rough rope down the middle to hang on to, and had to scramble out of a shoddy wooden hatch to get out onto the roof . This then required virtually having to jump back in through the hatch and hoping to be able to land on one of the tiny steps without plunging down into the void. No grab handles or guard rails. I counted the steps on the way down .... 195 of the buggers! Let me out! My shoulders were touching both walls again all the way down, and there was barely room on each step for my heels . Then I had to fumble with the lock to let myself out at the bottom. Phew! Made it. Had actually come out in a sweat from the tension of it. (Just about worth it for the views, though):
Had a similar experience in the middle of Oxford a couple of years ago, with the added problem of having to bend double at several points to find enough head clearance! I am pretty sure that in both instances I was the absolute biggest person who could possibly have squeezed their way in and climbed to the top. Nobody with bigger feet than size 14 and who is taller than me should ever attempt this!
This one was from the top of the tower in Oxford (featuring Mrs Donger sat under the tree down below):
Again, the effort and the unnervingly cramped conditions were just about worth it for the views, but I'm starting to question the wisdom. One of these days I could just crack. If you don't believe me, just try it. (Wondering whether @gavgav or @Rickshaw Phil might have been up the one in Ludlow?)
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The really tiny ones I don't mind too much, or the daddy long legs. But most of them just give me the heebie-jeebies.
