Cyclists. You know it's really cold when........

[pjd57]

Wheeling my bike out our street today ( it doesn't get gritted ) I wasn't sure if I was holding the bike up or using it as a walking aid.

Made it to the bus route ok after a few near things.
Worst black ice for years.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Wheeling my bike out our street today ( it doesn't get gritted ) I wasn't sure if I was holding the bike up or using it as a walking aid.

Made it to the bus route ok after a few near things.
Worst black ice for years.

Yes, I can relate to that, my housing scheme doesn't get gritted either, unless I grit myself a way out

 

[irw]

Apart from women, obviously?

You can't say things like that nowadays...it's sexist, or discriminatory, or something...

 

[Deleted member 1258]

When you get home there's ice in your beard and your water bottle has frozen solid.

 

[pawl]

Describe where you are and some one will find it for you,or perhaps suggest an alternative.

 

[steveindenmark]

When you have to carry your bidon inside your jacket to stop it becoming a brick in 20 minutes. Regular winter occurance in Denmark.

 

[mjr]

When you have to carry your bidon inside your jacket to stop it becoming a brick in 20 minutes. Regular winter occurance in Denmark.

Hip flask?

 

[captain nemo1701]

.......you stop for an urgent pee and you can't find your willy.

Busting for a wee, fumbling through base layer, tights, shorts etc to get it out before the flood....Then in mid-flow, you think you've found an out-of-the-way spot behind some hedge/tree where no-one will spot you and 0.001 nanoseconds later, the dog-walker-from-nowhere materialises quicker than a bloody Tardis behind you....or..someone cycling the LEJOG suddenly appears by trillion-to-one random chance. On my 'unexpected' pit-stops, they always appear to be of the female gender.....

 

[Threevok]

When the dog poo ricochets off the down-tube

 

[captain nemo1701]

You get home and find an icicle on your bum. So you put it on the radiator and a few minutes later it goes...Faaaart! (my apologies to the Big Yin Billy Connolly as it's an old gag of his).

 

[craigwend]

Not sure I see the issue here, mine is generally where I left it, tucked in the right sock.....

You padding out your Bibshorts again?

 

[colly]

You padding out your Bibshorts again?

Yes but don't tell him the sock needs to go in the front.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

You look forward to long hills (so you can warm up)

 

[furball]

When you struggle to keep eyes open due to the weight of icicles on the eyelashes (happens in freezing fog).

 

[Turdus philomelos]

You look forward to long hills (so you can warm up)

The downside of this is though is you chill down on - the downside. BRRRRR.