Cycling limericks

[DRM]

There’s a pro team called education first
Who are quite good, not the worst
They decided to go
As the wind it did blow
And boy did it make JV curse

 

[Archie_tect]

A wheezy old cyclist named DRM,
suffered with really bad phlegm.
He'd cough and he'd spit...
[had a bad time of it]
so sucked on an old Midget Gem.

 

[DRM]

It’s as if we’ve met! Or did you see crime watch the other week

 

[Archie_tect]

DRM, so I've heard, had a twin
who was radically different to him.
His twin was much thinner,
cos she ate much less dinner,
and her beard never needed a trim..

 

[Drago]

I think you mean, chapess called reynard

I didn't know that. Apologies to Ms Reynard for my impudence.

 

[DRM]

There is a young cyclist called Stu
He’s employed by Deliveroo
He had a bad crash
A terrible smash
And ruined my damn vindaloo

 

[Reynard]

I didn't know that. Apologies to Ms Reynard for my impudence.

Apology accepted.

Yes, the plumbing is very definitely female.

 

[Reynard]

There was a cyclist called Paul
Whose bib shorts were rather too small
He rode through some guano
And observed in soprano
That it wouldn't be too wise to fall.

 

[Mart44]

There once was a cyclist called Stokes
Who set about counting his spokes
He lost count at twenty
Which he thought was plenty
For the average bike riding folks.

 

[Drago]

There was a young cyclist named Mart,
Who was a bit of a tart,
He would dress up quite neat,
S P D's on his feet,
Then he'd ruin the effect when he'd fart.

 

[DRM]

There’s a cyclist called Froomey Of late he’d been feeling quite gloomy
Till his mate told him a belter
You’ve just won the vuelta
Even though you’re laid up in bed

 

[Drago]

There was a Welsh cyclist Geraint,
Who's name to rhyme you quite can't,
When one night I came home,
Open the front door was thrown,
To find him snogging his Aunt.

 

[Reynard]

Well, you could do it this way...

There was a Welsh cyclist Geraint
Who thought it fun to ride through paint
But modern art
Ain't worth a fart
Even if Banksy thinks Big G's a saint...