CycleChat's cycling twonk of the year

[Jon George]

I'd like to self-nominate.
Honestly, there are times I could weep at my stupidity. For the last three-and-a-half years since I got the bug, I've been frustrated (and spent much time bemoaning the fact) at finding cycling-prohibited signs at various places. It's only today that I've remembered that triangular signs are generally warnings - it's the round ones I have to obey.
Now heading off to study Traffic Signs on the GOV.UK site.

 

[summerdays]

Not even all the round ones, some of them don't apply to cyclists!

But yes it is worth rereading the Highway Code every now and again.

 

[RhythMick]

Sorry, not good enough by a country mile. You can't waltz in here with your "I got a few signs wrong" and take the twonk crown.

I've lost count of my own stupid acts, but I'd vote for the guy who tried to inflate his inner tube to 100psi without the tyre around it. I forget how far he got before it went bang.

 

[DCLane]

Try going down Sutton Bank and only 100m from the bottom realising there was a right-hand bend. At 50 mph.

 

[Hip Priest]

I'd like to nominate myself.

I've got no mechanical sympathy, so I spent £40 on a torque wrench.

The first thing I did with it is over-tighten one of my stem bolts, resulting in a cracked stem, because I didn't understand how it worked.

I almost certainly need to get the torque wrench re-calibrated as a result.

I am the end of a bell.

 

[Dave 123]

Imagine changing your front tyre on Sunday on your commute bike, then on Monday morning going down the hill thinking "these brakes are crap...." That you forgot, after telling yourself to double check that you didn't do up the quick release brake levers

This was a mate of mine.... Honest.

 

[Jon George]

Sorry, not good enough by a country mile. You can't waltz in here with your "I got a few signs wrong" and take the twonk crown.

I've lost count of my own stupid acts, but I'd vote for the guy who tried to inflate his inner tube to 100psi without the tyre around it. I forget how far he got before it went bang.

In an odd way, this is restoring my faith in the human race - I've just had one great belly laugh. Thanks - it's good to know I'm amongst friends.

 

[DCLane]

In an odd way, this is restoring my faith in the human race - I've just had one great belly laugh. Thanks - it's good to know I'm amongst friends.

Absolutely. How many do you want:

- Going up to Emley Mast on a cold, frosty November morning in 2012 I realised the roads had been gritted. So promptly shot down the hill after it until, at the first bend, I realised they hadn't gritted the road after Emley Mast. Cue sliding on ice and arriving at the club's cafe stop asking for "a large coffee, toasted teacake, bowl of warm water, antiseptic wipes and some large plasters".

- Fitting a new set of brakes to my bike then, on going on a ride, realising I hadn't fitted the pads yet . Note: I live at the top of a steep hill.

- Trying to unclip on a busy Saturday morning in Holmfirth this April, trying again and then falling over at the main road junction. Wearing club kit. In front of the TDF wannabes. 2 bolts had come undone from my cleats . Arrived at the same cafe as earlier with another "a large coffee, toasted teacake, bowl of warm water, antiseptic wipes and some large plasters" request.

That'll do for now ...

 

[Fab Foodie]

Going camping with my mate and forgetting to pack the tent ....

 

[Matthames]

How about doing a flat out sprint just before riding over these: http://goo.gl/JuD5xS, and how about doing it on a bike that only has 16 inch wheels. Fortunately there was a Sainsbury next door. Managed to get bandaged up. To make it even more silly, I had an archery competition the next day that I had to pull out of the head to heads, so that I could go into Edinburgh to get a new frame for my front bag and some medical supplies for my arm, which I had taken a whole chunk of skin off. All this has meant that I will miss out on getting a national ranking this year.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

I'd like to self-nominate.
Honestly, there are times I could weep at my stupidity. For the last three-and-a-half years since I got the bug, I've been frustrated (and spent much time bemoaning the fact) at finding cycling-prohibited signs at various places. It's only today that I've remembered that triangular signs are generally warnings - it's the round ones I have to obey.
Now heading off to study Traffic Signs on the GOV.UK site.

as you penance photo copy the page of the HC and hand the copies out to every pedestrian who, mistakenly thinking the same as you used to, calls you out.

 

[young Ed]

it has to be me!
i inflated and rode a tyre and 15psi (atmospheric pressure is 14.7 psi)
falling off after bombing it along a strava segment and forgetting it was my first clipless ride
peeing off too many bus drivers to the point they want to kill me apparently as i take ages to join A road outside my school
riding home on brothers BSO whilst in full work gear, steel toe capped boots and a ford tractor manual in my left hand
shouting saying rather loudly 'nice tunes' to a older man in a open top sports car in front of me in a traffic jam
wearing lycra cycling shorts to sports day (apparently i cycle in speedos?)
etc etc etc
Cheers Ed

 

[classic33]

Sorry, not good enough by a country mile. You can't waltz in here with your "I got a few signs wrong" and take the twonk crown.

I've lost count of my own stupid acts, but I'd vote for the guy who tried to inflate his inner tube to 100psi without the tyre around it. I forget how far he got before it went bang.

About the 20psi mark. But how big did he get the inner tube?

 

[EltonFrog]

I spent an hour removing the complicated Ortlieb handle bar bag mound from my hybrid to put it on my new hybrid. Only to realise that having got it off the old bike, I had actually put it back on the old bike instead of the new one.

You don't get more twonkish than that.

 

[Jon George]

You don't get more twonkish than that.

I suspect you know this, this has really made me laugh. I intended this thread as a piece of mild self-deprecation, but it is producing pockets of comic gold that I think we all should all be proud of. Chapeau to all you twonks!