Culinary mishaps

[Dave5N]

Ah, c'mon. You could get there again with a bit of training.

Take it easy at first, just the one mug, and work your way up gradually to two.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

 

[tomb1960]

The first time my parents went out and left me on my own, my mum got a home-made turkey pie out of the freezer and left it in the oven for me together with instructions as to timing etc. My mum's home made pies were fantastic but the crusts were a little thick and required lubricating with brown sauce. At the allotted time I got said pie out of the oven and neatly iced the pie's crust with HP. Hungry by now I launched into the pie only to discover that my mum's labelling system was not all it could be, the pie turned out to be rhubarb! brown sauce and rhubarb is not a combo I'd recommend!

 

[TheDoctor]

At a friends house for dinner one evening, he produced a rhubarb crumble. It looked nice - golden brown goodness with the caremelised bits where the rhubarb had seeped through. All most excellent. As he spooned it out he mentioned that a few weeks ago he's made a crumble, but had half of the crumble mix left over, so he'd frozen it and this was what was being served up. No worries thought I. Not a bad idea.
Then we tasted it.
It wasn't crumble mix he'd got out of the freezer.
It was grated parmesan.

 

[purpleR]

I had made the most gorgeous roasted vegetable soup, beautiful deep yellow colour, just the right amount of kick from some chilli.... you know the kind of stuff you're really proud of yourself when you make it?

The first few mouthfuls: delicious. Then I felt a squeak.

It had bright green squeaky rubbery bits through it, from a green rubber band that had sneaked in while I was putting it through the blender.

 

[Arch]

That sheet of greaseproof paper you get at the bottom of supermarket plastic meat containers? I accidentally put that in my bizgetti bolognaise sauce about one in every five times, and end up throwing the whole lot away.

Bearing in mind I make about 10 portions in one go, it's an awful lot of damage for a little piece of paper to cause.

Um. Can't you just pick it out and carry on? Or don't you notice until you've welded it to the pan or something?

I love the parmesan rhubarb crumble. Well, no, it sounds foul, but it's a good story (BTW, my Mum makes up batches of crumble mix and freezes then, it's really convenient, and works perfectly. If you get the right bag out...)

 

[TheDoctor]

I love the parmesan rhubarb crumble. Well, no, it sounds foul

It was truly terrible. It smelled pretty awful, but I though I'd try some. Really wished I hadn't.

The Montbazillac to go with the crumble was superb though.

Oh, BTW, the avatar? Stick with it, or continue looking?

 

[Arch]

It was truly terrible. It smelled pretty awful, but I though I'd try some. Really wished I hadn't.

The Montbazillac to go with the crumble was superb though.

Oh, BTW, the avatar? Stick with it, or continue looking?

Well, I've googled a fair bit, and can't find better. So yes, stick with it, it's a nice smile, even if not quite manic. Nicer than moody I think.

 

[JamesAC]

The thought of Arch's lunchbox running with honey is just too much!!

 

[TheDoctor]

The thought of Arch's lunchbox running with honey is just too much!!

Quite. I've had to go and have a cold shower. Again.

 

[Fnaar]

Once cooked a chicken with the plastic bag of the giblets still inside!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a regular occurrence in my household! (I did it at Xmas just gone).
Another Xmas one, with a friend, who had lovely free-range turkey, and was cooking us dinner at her new flat. Turkey in the oven, veggies on etc etc. Turkey, after a bit, was sort of cooking at the top, but totally raw at the bottom... several hours later, not much change... we gave up on it in the end, assuming a faulty oven... a few weeks later our friend shamefacedly told us that she's had the oven on 'platewarming' setting (she'd only moved in not long before and we were her first guests to cook for...)

 

[Andy in Sig]

Slightly off topic but I recently decided to christen the oven in my new flat and bake some scones. Although I quite like cooking I'd never used the oven before. It's quite complicated because you're eye inevitably wanders from one recipe to the other in the cookery book so the first time I forgot the egg, the next time the sugar etc but the fourth go was OK.

But that's not the point. It turns out you don't need half these fancy kitchen gadgets e.g. at the rolling out stage of the dough I realised I don't own a rolling pin. Solution? Flour up a wine bottle and it works a treat. Ditto funny round thing for cutting out scones. The answer to this is a narrow Weizenbier glass. They were obviously designed for scone cutting long before somebody thought of putting beer into them.

 

[Kirstie]

My MIL once accidentally made a 'damson' pie out of what turned out to be sloes. No amount of sugar could redeem it - sooooooo bitter

I have accidentally cremated a number of meals by having the oven on 'grill' setting by accident, including one of the first meals i made for my then boyfriend now husband.

One NYE we planned a romantic evening in and bought some lamb to roast. The fan oven broke early evening and we ended up having to pot roast it. Yeuch...

 

[Andy in Sig]

So what's pot roast then? Is that what non-oven afficianados would call a casserole?

 

[Kirstie]

Christ knows but it's not one of my favourites. Essentially a braising scenario on the stove...