Chuck Norris Facts

[Dalestar]

The Chain thread has lead me to Chuck Norris singing the theme tune to Walker Texas Ranger. Thought it might be amusing to list all the associated facts with the legend:

Starting with:

Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live

 

[Melvil]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

[Melvil]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

 

[Landslide]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

 

[just jim]

Two packs a day? Chuck Norris gets through two lighters a day.

(thanx B. Hicks there)

 

[Dalestar]

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer.

 

[Landslide]

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

 

[just jim]

Chuck Norris left a huge carbon footprint - on my face!

 

[Dalestar]

My absolute favourite is:

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=19781&product_id=2400514

 

[Landslide]

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

 

[mikeitup]

these are VERY old but have a look:


View: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs

 

[ComedyPilot]

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water...and MAKE it drink!

 

[Funtboy]

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

 

[Piemaster]

Chuck Norris hides behind the sofa when I call round and knock on his door.

 

[mikeitup]

I liked this one :

The bogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.