Burns Night is coming...

[HJ]

As it is now Burns night, I raise a virtual dram and toast yous all slanj

 

[Keith Oates]

Is it all over for another year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Fnaar]

Premature again, Fnaar?

Story of ma wee sleekit McLife

 

[Fnaar]

"Blowing up the road to Glenaveigh
I sat for a while at the cross at Finnoe
Where young lovers would meet when the flowers were in bloom
Heard the men coming home from the fair at Shinrone"

Wrong bunch of Celts there Mr Ab odd-max avatar

 

[Abitrary]

Wrong bunch of Celts there Mr Ab odd-max avatar

Scottish guy fawkes music... all the same

 

[Crackle]

Son No.1 had to learn a poem for Burns day in school. Anyway he picked a Highland Welcome 'cause he's lazy and it's short (Google it).

This morning as he was leaving the house he said "we're off to the day care centre today dad." (where the old folks gather for tea and biccies). " Where all doing a show. I'm going to be reciting my poem".
Well I spat my coffee right across the kitchen. I managed to catch him by the gate and explain why it wasn't a good idea to do that poem and to ask the teacher for another one....

 

[snorri]

O gie the lass her fairin' lad
O gie the lass her fairin',
An' somethin' else she'll gie to you,
That's waly worth the wearin';
Syne coup her o'er amang the creels,
When ye hae taen your brandy,
The mair she bangs the less she squeels,
An' hey for houghmagandie.

Then gie the lass a fairin', lad,
O gie the lass her fairin',
An' she'll gie you a hairy thing,
An' of it be na sparin';
But coup her o'er amang the creels,
An bar the door wi' baith your heels,
The mair she gets the less she squeals;
An' hey for houghmagandie.

 

[Abitrary]

what's that mean?

'The mair she bangs the less she squeels,'

that sounds like a legal matter

 

[Noodley]

I was quite proud of Noodley Jnr this week. She returned home on Monday from school with Willie Wastle to learn. By today she was word perfect Not an easy one by any means:

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,
The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie.
Willie was a wabster guid
Could stown a clue wi onie body.
He had a wife was dour and din,
O, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither!
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

She has an e'e (she has but ane),
The cat has twa the very colour,
Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
A clapper-toungue wad deave a miller;
A whiskin beard about her mou,
Her nose and chin they threaten ither:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd,
Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
She's twisted right, she's twisted left,
To balance fair in ilka quarter;
She has a hump upon her breast,
The twin o that upon her shouther:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

Auld baudrans by the ingle sits,
An wi her loof her face a-washin;
But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,
She dights her frunzie wi a hushion;
Her walie nieves like midden-creels,
Her face wad fyle the Logan Water:
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her


...Willie's wife sounds lovely

 

[Abitrary]

"She has a hump upon her breast"

that's either porn or a medical condition

 

[Noodley]

"She has a hump upon her breast"

that's either porn or a medical condition

It's okay the one on her shoulder balances it out

Prize of "well done" for the nearest translation of:

"Her walie nieves like midden-creels"