Bummer, Drugs

[johnr]

I was going to frighten MichaelM even more with tales of drugs. But for what it is worth another chapter of misspent youth.

I were lucky. In my day, highly addictive drugs were so expensive you had to be a rock star to consider addiction... it was the pills nicked from chemists for us.

HOWEVER, like all kids, we thought we knew all about the risks and that the older generation knew nothing. Wrong on the first count, probably not on the second. That did not stop them from pontificating/legislating/persecuting (hence the free availability now of highly destructive substances at rock bottom prices).

I've always tried to get young people to tell me about the risk/benefit analysis so that we can reach conclusions together. I think there's only one with cocaine and your daughter sounds like a sensible young woman who probably knows what it is. She maybe needs your experience to help her deal with the pressure of her social situation/relationship with her mum etc.

There's loads of organisations around these days who can help if she's got a serious problem. She probably knows enough people who will shout at her already.

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Ah well, bang goes my political career then!

Whereas zim has been shortlisted for a safe Tory seat.

 

[Chuffy]

My 2 penn'orth, for what it's worth:-

I had a similar-ish situation with my brother. He got busted at Uni for smoking pot in halls. Mum rang me, seriously worried as she knows little or nothing about drugs, beyond what the Daily Mail tells her. The first thing I had to do was to get her to drop the 'my kid is a junkie' thing. There are so many degrees of involvement with drugs and a spliff, a line or the odd 'shroom doesn't a druggie drop-out make. She's talking to you, so that's a good thing, but don't scare her from being honest by over-reacting. She's not a lost cause in need of saving, just a kid who's tried something that scared her. Good luck to you both, I'm sure it will all be fine.

 

[buggi]

There are plenty of young intelligent women who get hooked on drugs through experimentation. i think it's more serious than you think but the fact she has confided in you is a good thing. i doubt its the first time. if it was, and she regretted it, i doubt she'd be ringing you. i think she's a bit scared she's already gone too far. i think some serious research into local rehab centres is a good idea here, and maybe getting her to talk to some addicts/ex-habits and shove a bit of reality in her face. maybe even get her to come home for a while?

 

[yenrod]

I sincerely wish you and your daughter all the best !

 

[Elmer Fudd]

There are plenty of young intelligent women who get hooked on drugs through experimentation. i think it's more serious than you think but the fact she has confided in you is a good thing. i doubt its the first time. if it was, and she regretted it, i doubt she'd be ringing you. i think she's a bit scared she's already gone too far. i think some serious research into local rehab centres is a good idea here, and maybe getting her to talk to some addicts/ex-habits and shove a bit of reality in her face. maybe even get her to come home for a while?

Err she is at home, 'tis I who moved 200 miles away to be with the love of my life, but yes, I do agree with what you have to say.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

First thing that struck me was same as what Buggi's said - this wont be the first time. She needs information and options about talking to folk. You being a viable one which is a good thing.

If she were in Scotland I could give you plenty of options for her - my job is in that field.

 

[domtyler]

Just give her space and assess the situation before packing her off to a clinic. She is probably just mucking around with her mates. Most people manage to experiment, have a laugh and then move on, only a very small minority end up with big problems. I got the impression that she just wants someone she can trust to talk to.

 

[got-to-get-fit]

It depends on her situation doesn't it? Is she a young and intelligent woman experimenting with drugs; or is she leading a life of crime, living on a council estate bringing up kids with no husband, string of boyfriends, hard core drug taking?

Sounds like the former to me in which case there is no major problem. Just make her aware of the dangers, getting addicted, overdosing, physiological harm that she can do to herself through overuse. All you can do is be thee for her and guide her. Trying to force her to do anything will just harm your relationship.

When I was a student I took every drug under the sun for years (apart from heroin or crack). It was a part of growing up, a phase I went through. Like most people who did the same I came through with no obvious ill effects and looking back can honestly say that some of my most amazing experiences of my life were drug induced and do not regret them for a moment.

This sort of echoes my past .....didnt have any bad experiences but im sure its no less of a worry for the parents and im sure this gives no comfort at all to the Elmer.

What i would say is that she sounds like a fantastic daughter for confiding in you, you obviously have a lot of trust between you.
I dont think anyone will stand up and say drugs are a fantastic lifestyle choice but for generations young people have experimented with drugs and to be honest its all part of growing up and being able to make your own choices. She will grow out of it, cocaine isnt exactly the most evil thing she could be doing or taking. I would be more concerned if she had just told you she had shot up a syringe of Heroine and shared the needle with her flat mates. Put in perspective ....if she is mature enough to tell you about it then she is probably mature enough to handle a recreational drug and not let it escalate or degenerate into harder drugs. Most people use Coke E's and Pot as a means to enhance nights out and certainly wont be routinely sitting in watching coronation street snorting a line.
Give her love and support, tell her the dangers and ask her to always tell you when she takes it, monitor her moods, and her lifestyle and she (and you) should be fine.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

What i would say is that she sounds like a fantastic daughter for confiding in you, you obviously have a lot of trust between you.

Thankyou GTGF, from the age of 6 I've never really been there for her as I've worked all over the UK / World (with stipulations that I get flights / time off to visit her), but I've always been there for her, does that make sense ?
As I said before she's* coming up to Durham next weekend for a few days to spend sometime with me and my partner just to get her away from the peer pressure.

*Shouldn't keep calling her "she", I know, but no names, no pact drill etc.

 

[Danny]

As Domtyler has said, lots of young people experiment with drugs, and many have a pretty good time doing so!

Coke, like most drugs, can be pretty nasty if taken taken regularly and in excess, but snorting the odd line is not going to make your daughter into an addict.

One of the problems is there is a lot of mis-information out there about the relative harm of drugs. Alcohol and tobacco (both of which you take) are probably as dangerous and addictive as some of the so called hard drugs, and personally I am much more concerned about the risk of my teenage son becoming a binge drinker than about him have the odd joint or line of coke.

I think the key thing to work out is why your daughter is so distressed. Most kids wouldn't dream of telling their parents they had taken drugs, so the fact that she called you up suggests that there is something else going on. Is she being pressurised by her mates to take coke when she doesn't want to, or is she really upset about something else?

 

[bonj2]

I think the key thing to work out is why your daughter is so distressed. Most kids wouldn't dream of telling their parents they had taken drugs, so the fact that she called you up suggests that there is something else going on. Is she being pressurised by her mates to take coke when she doesn't want to, or is she really upset about something else?

OR, has she cottonned on to the fact that rehab is mainly all sitting in the sauna, being given smoothies, and having massages and all this cucumber-on-the-eyes lark - and has decided she wouldn't mind a bit of that action?

Not casting aspersions Elmer, just suggesting possibility...

 

[Elmer Fudd]

As Domtyler has said, lots of young people experiment with drugs, and many have a pretty good time doing so!

Coke, like most drugs, can be pretty nasty if taken taken regularly and in excess, but snorting the odd line is not going to make your daughter into an addict.

One of the problems is there is a lot of mis-information out there about the relative harm of drugs. Alcohol and tobacco (both of which you take) are probably as dangerous and addictive as some of the so called hard drugs, and personally I am much more concerned about the risk of my teenage son becoming a binge drinker than about him have the odd joint or line of coke.

I think the key thing to work out is why your daughter is so distressed. Most kids wouldn't dream of telling their parents they had taken drugs, so the fact that she called you up suggests that there is something else going on. Is she being pressurised by her mates to take coke when she doesn't want to, or is she really upset about something else?

That will be (gently) delved into next week, I do know that she and her boyfriend are going through a rocky patch at the moment.

 

[Chuffy]

OR, has she cottonned on to the fact that rehab is mainly all sitting in the sauna, being given smoothies, and having massages and all this cucumber-on-the-eyes lark - and has decided she wouldn't mind a bit of that action?

Not casting aspersions Elmer, just suggesting possibility...

Speaking from experience Overs?

Seriously Fuddles, I think it will be fine. You just need to be calm and relaxed about it and not wind yourself up. Easier said than done I know, but true nevertheless.

 

[trustysteed]

she should be trying poppers, not coke......

just got that one, mirth!