From my experience of starting out... If you end up with a bike with a front suspension fork, make sure you can lock it on/off. I started out thinking the more suspension the better, but that's really not true and I waste a lot of energy bobbing up and down on my hybrid. A decent saddle and good padded shorts are all I need. Even on the mtb, the fork is locked off more than on. Minx-girl is the best place I've found for women's bike wear, the service is brilliant and the clothes are great. Still on shorts, don't put anything underneath them (at all), and arnica tablets are helpful for any post-ride soreness.
I learned to ride on a hybrid, then bought a Specialized Hard Rock for off-road riding, and now I have a Specialized Vita for road riding. If I knew then what I knew now I would (a) go for the women specific Myka over the Hard Rock, and I'd not bother with the hybrid and go straight for the Vita. It really isn't a case of what you "deserve", it's getting a bike that will meet your needs and that you love to ride.