Forget WD40, GT85 etc. K9P works quite well.
That is the one, we used to send the young lads down to the shops to pick that up along with the glass nails to put the screen in with, and of course the long weight for balancing the wheels with.
I thought you just sold the bike and bought a new one when the chain got dirty!I use finish line dry when I remember!
And a Long Weight
Don't forget the pidgeon milk and the left handed screwdriver.
Don't forget to wipe up the voltage drops, while you're at it.And the battery pump for the flat battery.
make sure your mum is out for the day then put a wax candle and a cup of diesel in a saucepan and heat until the candle has melted then remove the piece of string, then put your chain in while the pan is still hot - yes you have to take the chain off the bike first silly. next let it cool and then remove the chain, chuck what is left of the diesel down the sink and wipe the chain with a clean tea towel. wipe the saucepan and the cup clean then hide the tea towel until you can find a way to blame your brother. put the chain back on the bike, repeat this exercise every thirty years or so.
Just to clarify folks:
MY POST WAS A JOKE
So in reality I am not advising ANYTHING at all just having fun
I use finish line dry when I remember!