I think I'm being told-off.
"Fiasco" indeed! It's not a fiasco, it was an experiment - not a successful one, but it's all trial and error. Mostly error perhaps, I wouldn't call it a fiasco though, it almost worked, sort of. Well it might have worked, a bit.
If I can straighten-up the pin (it's looking a bit more squashed now than it does in the picture) I might give it a try in a vice; at least the other side will probably still pop out if I try the vice method. If nothing else works I'll just have to saw off the crank and get a new one - annoying, but not the end of the world; I haven't checked the size or anything yet, but a quick look for "Raleigh crank" on
eBay suggests they cost around £20, which I know is pennies compared to the money people spend on exotic modern racing bikes.