a general rant and shameful admittance
- Thread starter SamNichols
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Hope and hang on in there fella.A little tale at the age of 37 i got divorced,didn't want to .But didn't match up the expectations of what a husband and dad should have been.I spent many hours at work.Crap job but secure,could make lots of money with overtime.We just drifted apart.So back to live with my mum.Bless her.In my old bedroom.It was hell,started drinking ,Guinness and malt whisky.Till one night i fell down drunk.That was the turning point.Joined a singles group.Nexus and began to go out.Not looking for a serious companion.But i did find friends.Then i got my confidence back.Started dating ,enjoyed myself.Not really good looking 6-4 thin hair and a squint.Well i met someone at my local church.Asked her out for a pint.Eleven days after our first date.I asked her to marry me.YES was the reply.seventeen years later at the age of 57 we have two daughters 12 -10,strange names but what the heck.So keep your chin up you are still a very young man .Don't go looking for love just let it happen.Join some clubs get out,pass a few words with the next girl that serves you at your local shops.It will happen.I will think of you,i got passed a divorce,you can get passed this lonely feeling.I don't normally do this on this site. But so what i will put you on my prayer list.You just got loved.
Bigtallfatbloke
New Member
Join a yoga class
SamNichols said:
Why don't you miss her? I get what you're saying about missing what you had with her, but it looks to me like you haven't fallen proper hook, line and sinker yet, or else you would.
At least you've got that to look forward to!!!! Most jaded gits like me will be jealous
Hi Sam, not read any of your other posts, but thought I'd add to the words of encouragement. 25 is still young yet and I am a firm believer in there being somebody out there for everyone. It might take several attempts to find that person, but I call that character building and can be advantageous in the long term as you will have plenty of experience of what to do and not do!
I've personally found that pubs & clubs aren't the best place to meet people. Evening classes and voluntary work for example are all better ways to meet and get to know people better. Where I work is also like a glorified dating agency. There are several couples where I work and a lot of them are now married with children or in long term relationships. I met my partner at work, we've been together for nearly 2 years now. I used to find lots of excuses to go to his office with some "work" related thing. I confessed in an after work girly drinks session with some of the girls that I fancied him, much to the excitement of the others, one of whom took it upon herself to drop hints to him. In the end she gave up and just told him straight to ask me out (blokes obviously aren't very good at taking hints!). The rest is history as they say. So if a fat, bald, hairy middle aged bloke can pull a young stunner like me you've got no problems
I've personally found that pubs & clubs aren't the best place to meet people. Evening classes and voluntary work for example are all better ways to meet and get to know people better. Where I work is also like a glorified dating agency. There are several couples where I work and a lot of them are now married with children or in long term relationships. I met my partner at work, we've been together for nearly 2 years now. I used to find lots of excuses to go to his office with some "work" related thing. I confessed in an after work girly drinks session with some of the girls that I fancied him, much to the excitement of the others, one of whom took it upon herself to drop hints to him. In the end she gave up and just told him straight to ask me out (blokes obviously aren't very good at taking hints!). The rest is history as they say. So if a fat, bald, hairy middle aged bloke can pull a young stunner like me you've got no problems
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Plax said:Hi Sam, not read any of your other posts, but thought I'd add to the words of encouragement. 25 is still young yet and I am a firm believer in there being somebody out there for everyone. It might take several attempts to find that person, but I call that character building and can be advantageous in the long term as you will have plenty of experience of what to do and not do!
I've personally found that pubs & clubs aren't the best place to meet people. Evening classes and voluntary work for example are all better ways to meet and get to know people better. Where I work is also like a glorified dating agency. There are several couples where I work and a lot of them are now married with children or in long term relationships. I met my partner at work, we've been together for nearly 2 years now. I used to find lots of excuses to go to his office with some "work" related thing. I confessed in an after work girly drinks session with some of the girls that I fancied him, much to the excitement of the others, one of whom took it upon herself to drop hints to him. In the end she gave up and just told him straight to ask me out (blokes obviously aren't very good at taking hints!). The rest is history as they say. So if a fat, bald, hairy middle aged bloke can pull a young stunner like me you've got no problems
where have you been all my life?
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SamNichols
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- Colne, Lancs
Thanks for all of your kind words. It was a mark of perhaps a slight maount of drunkenness that I actually admitted to those thoughts, although I am glad that I did. I'd just got back from a party where I met my cousin's girlfriend: the girl's lovely, and reminds me very much of someone I really should've asked out when I found out that she liked me (I asked out her best mate instead, and didn't have a great time of it at all). I wasn't jealous of what he's got, as he's my cousin, and I'm glad that he's happy, but it got me thinking about what could've been.
As you all say, I am still young. Unfortunately, however, I am a postgrad and options are limited. I am at least 3 years older than most undergrads, and the difference between 3rd year and 3rd year plus 3 is massive. So, I am left with the PG population to pray upon: being a theology student, I'm not exactly surrounded by nubile young things, if you get me. Anyway, i am starting at a writer's workshop next week, where hopefully I may meet someone of my own age with similar interests to mine. i'm not exactly a pub or club goer, due to my social problems, so i just hang around with people that I know for the most part, which makes it troublesome to meet new people (and it's not really socially acceptable to work your way through your friends).
I know that I've made mistakes with my love life, and that's something that we all have to deal with, but it does sort of scare me that it's been 6 years since I had a serious relationship, and have met noone who I have been confident enough to get into a relationship with. It takes me a while for people to get used to my ways, and when people do, they generally accept me for what I am: a very well-meaning chap, who whilst not being particularly 'edgy' is honest, with a strong intellect. I know that I don't sound particularly modest in my description of myself, and that I can be quite egotistical at times, but that's just part of me and I play it up to get a reaction half the time.
Anyway, I am sure that i'll meet someone, and I am going to get onto one of my friends to set me up with someone asap. The blind date thing is always good for a bit of a laugh, and whilst some people inevitably think of me as a bit barmy, most people just enjoy my company. My friend was recently telling me of how useful my condition is, saying things like:
'Wow, you see the world in a completely different way from me? That's mad, but fairly exciting.'
Which I suppose it is: I think that she had perhaps romanticised just how crippling it can be sometimes, but I have it, and can't get away from it. So, I just use it to my own advantage, and have developed mechanisms for coping with it (such as a tendency to blurt out lines in the hope that people find them funny, which invariably they do, as they're totally odd. The do bees fear death question was actually something I said the other day).
It's not all bad, I am sure I'll find someone, but trying to find a hot, young, cycling, climbing, writer is a hard task at the best of times.
As you all say, I am still young. Unfortunately, however, I am a postgrad and options are limited. I am at least 3 years older than most undergrads, and the difference between 3rd year and 3rd year plus 3 is massive. So, I am left with the PG population to pray upon: being a theology student, I'm not exactly surrounded by nubile young things, if you get me. Anyway, i am starting at a writer's workshop next week, where hopefully I may meet someone of my own age with similar interests to mine. i'm not exactly a pub or club goer, due to my social problems, so i just hang around with people that I know for the most part, which makes it troublesome to meet new people (and it's not really socially acceptable to work your way through your friends).
I know that I've made mistakes with my love life, and that's something that we all have to deal with, but it does sort of scare me that it's been 6 years since I had a serious relationship, and have met noone who I have been confident enough to get into a relationship with. It takes me a while for people to get used to my ways, and when people do, they generally accept me for what I am: a very well-meaning chap, who whilst not being particularly 'edgy' is honest, with a strong intellect. I know that I don't sound particularly modest in my description of myself, and that I can be quite egotistical at times, but that's just part of me and I play it up to get a reaction half the time.
Anyway, I am sure that i'll meet someone, and I am going to get onto one of my friends to set me up with someone asap. The blind date thing is always good for a bit of a laugh, and whilst some people inevitably think of me as a bit barmy, most people just enjoy my company. My friend was recently telling me of how useful my condition is, saying things like:
'Wow, you see the world in a completely different way from me? That's mad, but fairly exciting.'
Which I suppose it is: I think that she had perhaps romanticised just how crippling it can be sometimes, but I have it, and can't get away from it. So, I just use it to my own advantage, and have developed mechanisms for coping with it (such as a tendency to blurt out lines in the hope that people find them funny, which invariably they do, as they're totally odd. The do bees fear death question was actually something I said the other day).
It's not all bad, I am sure I'll find someone, but trying to find a hot, young, cycling, climbing, writer is a hard task at the best of times.
If you got to Uni Sam and have managed to stick at the course, there is a lot to be said about that in itself. My friends son has a fairly severe form of the condition, and he will always be dependent on others for supervision to keep him safe, and even the simplest tasks he struggles with unless there is a routine in place to help him handle it.
I have friends who don't have your condition, but still struggle with their relationships.
25 is no age to settle down nowadays, so get and see the world if you can while the opportunity is still there to do so. Having partners can clip your wings somewhat if you don't share the same aspirations !
I have friends who don't have your condition, but still struggle with their relationships.
25 is no age to settle down nowadays, so get and see the world if you can while the opportunity is still there to do so. Having partners can clip your wings somewhat if you don't share the same aspirations !
