your personal oxymoron(s)

[yello]

There are some word combinations that are contradictory; some are common place and well documented but others might only apply to you.

This morning I realised the phrase "quick shower" never applies to me. Increasingly, "short ride" is one in danger of becoming inherently false too, as I now can't go out for less then 50km.

Some might find their pints are rarely quiet, or their nights never early. Any that apply to you?

 

[Mr Pig]

When my wife says to me 'behave yourself', what she really means is behave nothing like yourself. Behave like a nice person!

 

[got-to-get-fit]

now i have kids....im sometimes heard saying "i cant wait for a lie in on saturday morning" however this usually means i will be up at 7.30 instead of 7.15

 

[got-to-get-fit]

sometimes have a 'bite' to eat on friday nights

A bite consists of
Pupadoms, pickles, baji's, samosas, tikka massala, rice, naan bread....and few pints of stella

 

[ChrisKH]

Let's have an 'early night' in our house is typical. My wife doesn't do early nights. So I don't by default. Also, as gtgf said a 'lay-in' is when the kids don't come in before 7.15 am. A ' quick tidy-up' of the garage rarely is and I end up spending three hours re-arranging it.

 

[col]

Im just going to take a quick look in the attic for ....... Im always hours as I come across things long forgotten.

 

[Keith Oates]

At the weekend I say I'm going out on the bike for an hour it is always more than 2 and very often 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I'm sure it's been mentioned before Keith but I love the flamboyant use of !!! at the end of every post. Can you buy replacement ! keys? - you must get through a few.

 

[jack the lad]

'Simple explanations' - never are.

Going out for a 'couple of pints' - just means I stop counting at 2.

'IT help-desk' - don't make me larf.

'Filing system' - it goes in, but you'll never find it again.

 

[alecstilleyedye]

customer services…

 

[dellzeqq]

customer services…

That's very good.

 

[Bokonon]

customer services…

I always thought 'counter service' was a properly true oxymoron, but I changed my mind last time I went to Leeds post office.

 

[Arch]

In my case any snack consisting of "a small piece of cheese"

 

[Landslide]

"Civil Servant"

 

[John the Monkey]

I'm with Keith on the "Short Ride" (as in, "I'm just going out for a short ride...")