Sometimes your life gets put back into perspective

[johnnyb47]

Hi and hope your all well.
I can imagine we've all been there, in that we all live in our little bubble and that we moan and groan about things that are having a negative impact on our lives.
The cost of living, fuel and gas prices and the worries of keeping our heads above water. Sometimes we often do not see beyond any further than the end of our noses.
These last couple of weeks I've been exactly that.Ive been grumpy about my low wages, the constant bills landing on my door and battling to keep my old decrepted car going,,,, blah blah blah.
Last night I got home from work and my neighbour came out for a chat.She was clearly upset with tears rolling down her face ,so I invited her in for a cuppa tea and chat to find out what's wrong.
It turned out she just found out her mum had passed away and she had no one to talk to as she lives by herself. She spent a couple of hour's over at mine chatting unloading her grief bless her whilst I did my best to comfort her with her loss.

Today I have booked it as a holiday as I've got the Dentist and my car was due in the local garage again for some maintenance work.
Dropping the car off, the friendly garage owner came out to greet me but was looking rather somber.
I asked if everything was okay and he said he couldn't sort my car today.
His cancer has come back and he's having part of is lung removed in the coming days and he didn't want to leave any loose ends of unfinished jobs in his work shop as he's just a one man band.
Absolutely no problem at all I said.The car's a piece of metal and your health is infinity more important.
We sat in his office and chatted for ages about what he's going through.
Back home it strikes me to thinking "what the hell have I got to moan about in life"
I've got a job, I've got my health, and I can enjoy my cycling when I please.
When watching the news of all the hardships of the people in Ukraine and seeing people around me struggling at the moment I'm really quite lucky and should be great full instead of moaning about my trivial problems.
All the very best,
Johnny

 

[Kingfisher101]

Just because other people have difficulties doesn't mean to say your difficulties are nothing. You did well to listen to those people for so long and support them. I cant listen to people talking about health problems for more than a minute.

 

[cyberknight]

I have my share of woes but I always say
" I m not starving,I have a roof over my head and I'm not being shot at. Anything else is a bonus"

 

[fossyant]

Quite, there are a few getting all ranty about the Snake Pass being shut. So what, there is more to worry about in life. This is one such reminder.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Blimey Johnny , glad I don’t know you personally. Wonder what’ll happen to the next person you meet?

Good on you for giving your neighbour time to talk.

 

[All uphill]

Thankfully there are people like you, who can be kind and gentle; the people you have given your time to will probably remember that for the rest of their lives.

You are also entitled to a moan and a groan!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Perspective is always good. Sometime a rant is useful to get it off one's chest. But apply perspective and be happy

 

[HarryTheDog]

I have a elderly next door neighbour I sometimes speak to, she has 3 sons and she constantly moans none of them help her. 1 is too mentally ill and she is supposed to help him apparently , 2nd they hate each other, 3rd lives in Thailand .
My Missus works for the DWP and she has a constrant stream of stories of people in shite situations which keeps me thankful that I dont have any real bad problems. If you listened to my missus you would think half the world is homeless or has mental or physical health issues.

 

[postman]

you sir are a star.My little melt last night was trivial compared to losing a loved one.

 

[Oldhippy]

The more human kindness we can spread the better off we'll be I think. As said above, never likely to meet you but you sir seem a great person to know.

 

[numbnuts]

We all have our crosses to bear, some are bigger that others, that's the only difference

 

[bagpuss]

I love the garden fence front door step chat etc .Few and far between in the internet age . The last 2 years made things even more difficult for many .A problem shared is a problem halved .
In the past you told the neighbours it went round the street ,end of week you got an answer .
Since finishing work I make time to help others in any way that I can . Apart from any DIY

 

[biggs682]

There is always someone worse off than yourself

 

[johnnyb47]

Thanks for the kind replies.
I've been a little quiet today after the dentist. Three fillings and "boy" it's been painful after the freeze wore off for some reason
A few pain killers and a generous tipple of whiskey has sorted it now though 😃

 

[HobbesOnTour]

@johnnyb47
I think I recall another post from you about how you connected with an older neighbour and how much her death hit you.

It may seem like scant consolation at this moment but it appears to me (random person on the Internet) that you have that "whatever" quality that perhaps makes you more accessible to people?

As well as your newfound perspective perhaps try to remember that this is worthy trait to have.

We can all lose perspective from time to time but the real danger is when the perspective becomes like a spiral ever downwards. It can be very hard to pull out when we keep reinforcing the negativity.

It may well seem silly, but several years ago I was given the advice to sit down at the end of the day and to make a list of the things that happened, the interactions I had that I was grateful for.
It seems ridiculously simple but sometimes it was very difficult to pick even one thing, no matter how small, after a particularly crappy day.
It took me a while to get into a rhythm but eventually it developed into a positive habit.

So many things can pass us by when stressed, busy, sad, tired, disappointed or whatever that we see no positivity at all. Yet positive signs exist.

It's not just the act of listing the things we are grateful for that is useful, it's the process too; At the end of the day it can help banish the negativity, promote the positivity, help with sleep and even lead to a more positive morning.

I have found this process to be very useful in helping to keep on a more even trajectory.

Having said all that, it's also very healthy to be able to have a good moan too - so long as that releases the pressure (for want of a better word) rather than adds to it.

Enjoy the whiskey!