pineapple rings

[Abitrary]

Overheard a couple of lads playing pool in the pub tonight having a conversation about a friend along the lines of:

A: Well he reckons there's a well fit bird who's started working in the corner shop.
B: So has he tried it on yet?
A: Nah, he reckons it's out of his league.
B: So he's just going to leave it? What a bottler.
A: Well no, he reckons he's been in every day this week to buy a single tin of pineapple rings, and just winks at her.
B: Pineapple rings?

 

[Chuffy]

There's no mystery in pineapple rings. A Goblin Steak & Kidney pudding says far more.

 

[Kovu]

There's no mystery in pineapple rings. A Goblin Steak & Kidney pudding says far more.

No, pineapple rings would say he is a fruity sort of fella. Goblin steak and kidney pudding I think the girl would be more or less worried.

 

[Mr Pig]

Pineapple cheese toast, obviously

 

[Wolf04]

engishman irishman and a scotsman go to a brothel.

the englishman hands over his cash and is led away, after a while he rejoins his friends. What happened? they asked.
well, he said, she covered my dick in squirty cream, put a pineapple ring on it and a cherry on the end and then sucked it all off.
BOSTIN! exclaimed the scotsman and ran off for his go.
When he returned with a smile he said she put 2 layers of whipped cream 2 pineapple rings and 2 cherries on the end, best tenner I ever spent.

Finally the irishman takes his turn, after only a few minutes he returns. his face screwed up in pain. What happened?! inquired his compadre's. Well she put three layers of cream on, three pineapple rings, and three cherries on it and.... AND? and... it looked so good I bit it meself.

Ah the the old ones.....are old

 

[Abitrary]

BTW, the barmaid joined in the conversation at the point that pineapple rings were mentioned, and it kind of got a bit noisy after that, so I couldn't hear.

There was definitely some hilarity / controversy around the pineapple rings though.

 

[PaulB]

She works in a corner shop but he reckons she's out of his league? He sounds like a right go-getter doesn't he?

 

[Abitrary]

She works in a corner shop but he reckons she's out of his league? He sounds like a right go-getter doesn't he?

These people were chavs, yet funny, who cares, they made me laugh.

That was the uncensored version of the conversation, BTW.

 

[gbb]

I was stood behind a guy at the works canteen, and the girl behind the counter said to him....
'do you want some gammon'

'Not yet...i'll have my dinner first'..he replied deadpan

I nearly died laughing...she just carried on blissfully unaware of the play on words.

I was also in the office with a few 'mature' ladies who worked there...they were nattering away, and one suddenly said...
'oooh, my husband gave me a lovely pear necklace yesterday'

desperately trying to not to snigger, i left pronto.

 

[Desert Orchid]

'oooh, my husband gave me a lovely pear necklace yesterday'

now that is fruity