O how I laughed (for those of you with ex's)

[Willow]

Now I am always without fail accomodating when he who jumped ship wants to see or not see boys. Tonight he emailed me to say he had been offered a ticket for England New Zealand and would I mind terribly (grovel grovel) having boys that day as it was his weekend to see them. No problem says I except you have already booked to take DS2 on Rugby tour so you won't be able to go. HAHAHAHHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

[papercorn2000]

A husband and wife are going through a rough patch in their marriage. The husband asks the wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

The wife narrows her eyes and says "Take half of it and divorce you!"

The man reaches into his pocket, pulls out a fiver and says "Here you go then, go pack your bags...!"

 

[simoncc]

Now I am always without fail accomodating when he who jumped ship wants to see or not see boys. Tonight he emailed me to say he had been offered a ticket for England New Zealand and would I mind terribly (grovel grovel) having boys that day as it was his weekend to see them. No problem says I except you have already booked to take DS2 on Rugby tour so you won't be able to go. HAHAHAHHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH

He deserves what he's got for being such an amateur. He made the elementary mistake of the honest approach when deceit could easily have got him what he wanted if he'd used a little imagination.

 

[Aperitif]

I used to have my son every weekend - he would have been going to the rugby too - or neither of us.
"Swing low, sweet rugby tour..." eh Willow?

 

[Aperitif]

- wish I'd thought of that maggot!

 

[red_tom]

I was at a mates house the other day with a big group of friends including my ex. She was complaining about all the stuff she's lost this year.

Ex "I've lost my phone, my keys, my bag, my ipod...."

Me: "...my husband..."

 

[ChrisKH]

Now I am always without fail accomodating when he who jumped ship wants to see or not see boys. Tonight he emailed me to say he had been offered a ticket for England New Zealand and would I mind terribly (grovel grovel) having boys that day as it was his weekend to see them. No problem says I except you have already booked to take DS2 on Rugby tour so you won't be able to go. HAHAHAHHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Tell your ex I do have a ticket and I will be ver' ver' drunk.

I'm looking after the kids tomorrow whilst Missus is out. I get the whole Saturday to meet up with people from my old club. Good exchange eh?

You could tell him that there are still tickets for England v Australia (this Saturday) up for sale and would he like to take the boys with him? They're only £70.50 plus booking fee, each.