Need help with someone else's weight problem

[Twenty Inch]

Action Learning Set the other day revealed that a colleague has huge self-esteem issues based on his obesity, which are interfering with his work.

Long story short, I offered to coach him through some weight loss. Not as a Personal Trainer, but more moral support, critical friend, helping him to see the issues and work the answers out for himself.

It will help me too - as some of you know I've been there recently. So it's enlightened self-interest.

Has anyone else been in similar situations? What helped? Any practical tips? Any suggestions? It would be interesting to hear your experience.

Flippant/sarcastic/unkind posts will be ignored.

Cheers.

 

[Ravenz]

Hope he takes up your offer! You sound in good position to set an achievable 1st goal to set him on his way. Good luck to him.

I have had me medication today!

 

[ChrisKH]

I act as a part-time counsellor for people undergoing certain types of surgery at my local hospital. Not quite the same but you probably need the same skills:-

1. Be a good listener. Only talk about yourself if asked.
2. Don't be judgmental.
3. Offer constructive advice and support.
4. Give praise where it's due (on meeting targets).
5. Be available.

Good luck.

 

[mickle]

Not sure if it.s relevant but I've managed to lose 5 kilos in two months just by cutting out the (excessive volumes of) alchohol and riding my bike 30 more miles per week. I wasn't my intention so came as a pleasant surprise but I was surprised how easy it was with such a small change in my behaviour. It probably seems an impossible hurdle to him from where he is now but it's totally do-able.

I wish him all the best.

 

[Twenty Inch]

He's not much of a drinker, but he gets NO exercise. He suggested going for walks 3x weekly to start with.

 

[Twenty Inch]

Chris - thanks for that. I kind of knew, but it's really useful to have the skills in a list like that.

 

[BentMikey]

What about changing what he eats, not just how much?

 

[Maizie]

Has he any knowledge of what he should eat? Not just five-a-day, etc, but actually what is in food? What a 'balanced diet' means?

When I was in my early 20s I searched for a book to teach me how to eat properly, one that wasn't going on about how to lose weight (at that time I was a pretty average weight, but had been underweight/severely underweight/eating or often not-eating unsensibly since, well, always). I found "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Eating Smart", which to be fair did have a small section on weight loss, but had an equal size section devoted to weight gain, and both were at the back of the book. The most of the book was about learning what's in food (carbs, proteins, etc) and how to balance them; and then a chunk on exercise too.

How to read a food label, what to buy in the supermarket to make your balanced meals with, balanced recipes. Really basic simple stuff but basic simple stuff I'd never been told.
Some years later, my husband read the first few sections on the eating stuff, and he found it very useful (and lost a couple of stone, mainly from thinking about proper balanced meals).

It is obvious stuff, and it's prominent obvious stuff (the five-a-day thing, the units of alcohol thing, which is inescapable if you have a tv or use a supermarket), but just because people are told it all the time doesn't mean they understand why. And for some people, once they really understand why, it all slots in to place.

 

[Twenty Inch]

Mikey and Maizie

You've both made very important points. His diet is appalling - loads of carbs, little protein, little or no fruit and veg. I don't think the family cooks much - I think they just warm things up.

I'm taking a gentle approach though. There's no point in making him feel bad - it's more a case of helping him to translate his willingness into results.

To that end, I've lent him my two GI diet books, which are great in explaining the processes, the outcomes, the necessary changes, as well as having lots of nice recipes.

We'll get into the supermarket labels, hidden fats and sugars etc soon, although we've already mentioned them.

 

[Twenty Inch]

BTW, I weighed in at 14 stone yesterday - that's nearly my triathlon weight!!