Lying on a CV?

[gratts]

I dropped out of uni 3 weeks back because I didn't really find course content that interesting, and other reasons.
For the past 3 weeks I've been trying to get a job full time, nothing amazing, just basic admin/office work, but employers just seem amazingly stupid, and the system flawed.
I got pretty much straight A's at school, yet they've only worked against me so far - I've been told I'm too clever for a few jobs
I've got no direct office experience, which is all employers seem to care about, despite the fact I could easily do any of the jobs regardless of experience.
I worked 2 years part time at a supermarket before going to uni but that seems pretty irrelevant.
Final straw came yesterday when I phoned some company up enquiring about a minimum wage job and was told I had insufficient experience

So I've now cut out the 3 months at university, and replaced it with a temporary position at a fake company, with my brother acting as a reference. Realistically, is there any way I can get caught? Will companies perform any more rigorous checks than writing/phoning reference and making general enquiries?
I couldn't really care about the morality issues, I'm just sick of sitting around and 'scrounging'!
Ta

 

[Twenty Inch]

Almost certainly not worth it. It will catch up with you in some way, shape or form.

Do some volunteering for a local charity instead. You'll get experience, something to differentiate you from the others, something that demonstrates commitment, and after a while you can simply omit to mention the Uni 3 months.

 

[beanzontoast]

Been discussed here before.

 

[Mortiroloboy]

It is actually a criminal offence known as obtaining a pecunary advantage, 1968 theft Act. If found out you will in all likelihood end up with a CRO number...Don't do it.

Oops just re-read your OP in that case as you are not lying about having got a qualification which you don't have, or telling porkies about previous employment, which would give you an unfair adavantage over another prospective candidate, and you are merely erasing a short spell of Uni for an alleged time in employment, then probably no offence.

And as you say you don't want to scrounge, and for that you should be applauded.

 

[tyred]

It's not worth it.

 

[gratts]

Surely in such an unimportant position they won't check into my background all that much? I could understand if I was applying for a chief executives job or something, but for admin type work it seems worth the (small) risk?

I can't see charity work being much of an advantage unless I was doing exactly what the jobs I'm applying to require? They all just want someone with experience of filing and other complicated tasks

 

[Mortiroloboy]

Honesty is the best policy, imagine what would happen if you got a job, then 6 months down the line your employer found you out, just think what impression that would give them about your honesty and integrity, and what sort of reference (if any) they would give another employer, once they 'let you go'.

'fess up, no one is going to criticise you for binning a course which you believed was a waste of time.

 

[gratts]

I'd hope my hard working ethic in those 6 months would make up for it somewhat
It's not the fact I actually dropped out, I couldn't a toss about that, it's just proving impossible to even get to interview stage without precious experience

 

[rich p]

Would your tax record come up vis a vis your alleged employment with your new employer?

 

[Manonabike]

and what sort of reference (if any) they would give another employer, once they 'let you go'.

Companies will not risk legal action by giving a bad reference. They prefer to give a very general reference where it states the person performed a job for stated period of time but without saying anything about the quality of the work.

 

[Speicher]

Lots of places would like admin help and support. If you go to www.do-it.org.uk you can do a search according to your interests and the sort of experience you would like to gain, and/or the skills you already have.

For instance this one,
http://do-it.org.uk/oppdetails.do?id=1327178

in Nottingham, using Spreadsheets, Cash handling, filing etc and demonstrating equipment for blind people. I just keyed in Nottingham and within 25 kms, as a guess, and there is ten pages just for admin. This might help you. I prefer to find my own opportunities, rather than approach a Volunteer Bureau, so that site has been valuable.

You might find something you enjoy doing. That page also takes you straight into the page for a search for something else.

I am sure an employer will look more favourably on someone who has been doing something constructive, while looking for paid employment.

 

[Chuffy]

I've got no direct office experience, which is all employers seem to care about, despite the fact I could easily do any of the jobs regardless of experience.

Don't be so cocky. Working in offices is about more than having used Excel a few times. Go in with an 'I can do this standing on my head because I've got good grades' attitude and you will piss people off. As you've said, you've got no experience, so how can you be so sure?
Do what Speicher suggests and get some experience, even if it is voluntary and unpaid. It'll look miles better on your CV than a lie which will catch up with you eventually.

 

[asterix]

That could be your problem!

 

[Chuffy]

That could be your problem!

Many, many years ago I had a clerical job with a big bank. It was mostly data-entry stuff and I used to complain that it was work that a trained monkey could do. True, sort of, but not the kind of comment that endears you to your colleagues. And getting on with your colleagues is more of an office skill than having a cocky attitude and good grades...

 

[gratts]

Don't be so cocky. Working in offices is about more than having used Excel a few times. Go in with an 'I can do this standing on my head because I've got good grades' attitude and you will piss people off. As you've said, you've got no experience, so how can you be so sure?
Do what Speicher suggests and get some experience, even if it is voluntary and unpaid. It'll look miles better on your CV than a lie which will catch up with you eventually.

I didn't mean to come across as cocky, but I pretty much know word, excel and powerpoint inside out. Admittedly Access and Outlook not so much.
What else is there to it then? Most job listings don't go far beyond filing, photocopying, 'liaising' i.e. talking, and using MS Office. All of which a trained monkey could do. If there was anything company specific then they'd give training, so experience offers little.
Sure, I can see how it'd be essential in other jobs, just not a general dogs body low ranked office job.

Thanks for the link speich, I'll have a look into it