Local news (light-hearted/jokey only)

[Cycleops]

Anything interesting going on in your part of the world? This is from a local online paper. Note the language and phraseology being used. Poor guy that'll teach him:

Taxi Driver Loses Life As He Was Ch0pping Side Chick In A Guesthouse At Kasoa​

ghsplash.com3 hours ago

A Taxi driver has lost his life after passing out in a hotel room where he was lodged with a side chick.​

Akwesi Yeboah, a 30-year-old Taxi driver in Kasoa has lost is life whiles enjoying himself with his side chick in a guest house.



Friends and colleagues of the deceased who spoke to UTV reporter say Akwesi Yeboah has been extorted by the side chick for months without allowing him to go intimate with her.
The side chick who sells corn dough at Kasoa New Market finally told him she’ll allow him to enjoy and they agreed to go to Happy Guest House at Kasoa Akweley on Sunday June 16, 2023.
On Sunday the taxi driver lied to his wife that he has a gig somewhere.



The wife did everything to stop him from going because she didn’t believe him but eventually he locked the wide and kids in door to escape
His colleagues say Akwesi Yeboah told them today he’s doing to damage the side chick because he has taking in some mixtures for power his TIN.
He lodged at the Happy Guest House with the side chick.
According to the girl whiles he was doing the thing she realized Akwesi wasn’t moving again.

She tried to check the reason only to see him fall with his eyes so widely opened looking exhausted.
The lady rushed to the manager of the guests house for help and he went knocking on the doors of other guests to join him to help Akwesi Yeboah.

 

[wiggydiggy]

I spotted this recently, apparently its the second year they've done it.

Cyclists gearing up for challenge in aid of Midfield charity

And yes the newspaper has spelled the name of the town wrong in the headline!

 

[Slick]

Anything interesting going on in your part of the world? This is from a local online paper. Note the language and phraseology being used. Poor guy that'll teach him:

Taxi Driver Loses Life As He Was Ch0pping Side Chick In A Guesthouse At Kasoa​

ghsplash.com3 hours ago

A Taxi driver has lost his life after passing out in a hotel room where he was lodged with a side chick.​

Akwesi Yeboah, a 30-year-old Taxi driver in Kasoa has lost is life whiles enjoying himself with his side chick in a guest house.



Friends and colleagues of the deceased who spoke to UTV reporter say Akwesi Yeboah has been extorted by the side chick for months without allowing him to go intimate with her.
The side chick who sells corn dough at Kasoa New Market finally told him she’ll allow him to enjoy and they agreed to go to Happy Guest House at Kasoa Akweley on Sunday June 16, 2023.
On Sunday the taxi driver lied to his wife that he has a gig somewhere.



The wife did everything to stop him from going because she didn’t believe him but eventually he locked the wide and kids in door to escape
His colleagues say Akwesi Yeboah told them today he’s doing to damage the side chick because he has taking in some mixtures for power his TIN.
He lodged at the Happy Guest House with the side chick.
According to the girl whiles he was doing the thing she realized Akwesi wasn’t moving again.

She tried to check the reason only to see him fall with his eyes so widely opened looking exhausted.
The lady rushed to the manager of the guests house for help and he went knocking on the doors of other guests to join him to help Akwesi Yeboah.

After doing the thing?

Pretty much just words of no real consequence flying in close formation.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Anything interesting going on in your part of the world? This is from a local online paper. Note the language and phraseology being used. Poor guy that'll teach him:

Taxi Driver Loses Life As He Was Ch0pping Side Chick In A Guesthouse At Kasoa​

ghsplash.com3 hours ago

A Taxi driver has lost his life after passing out in a hotel room where he was lodged with a side chick.​

Akwesi Yeboah, a 30-year-old Taxi driver in Kasoa has lost is life whiles enjoying himself with his side chick in a guest house.



Friends and colleagues of the deceased who spoke to UTV reporter say Akwesi Yeboah has been extorted by the side chick for months without allowing him to go intimate with her.
The side chick who sells corn dough at Kasoa New Market finally told him she’ll allow him to enjoy and they agreed to go to Happy Guest House at Kasoa Akweley on Sunday June 16, 2023.
On Sunday the taxi driver lied to his wife that he has a gig somewhere.



The wife did everything to stop him from going because she didn’t believe him but eventually he locked the wide and kids in door to escape
His colleagues say Akwesi Yeboah told them today he’s doing to damage the side chick because he has taking in some mixtures for power his TIN.
He lodged at the Happy Guest House with the side chick.
According to the girl whiles he was doing the thing she realized Akwesi wasn’t moving again.

She tried to check the reason only to see him fall with his eyes so widely opened looking exhausted.
The lady rushed to the manager of the guests house for help and he went knocking on the doors of other guests to join him to help Akwesi Yeboah.

Is there a version in English?

 

[postman]

I pointed out to a post on FB yesterday,that FS Trueman has never been known as Freddy Truman.And the statue in Skipton has a plaque which states Frederick or Freddie Trueman.Sloppy reporting,and another post by fans of Denis Law,Dennis blah blah blah was my favourite etc,but you cannot spell his name correctly.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Sinan Ergun, aged 27, appeared at Cambridge Crown Court last week and pleaded guilty to driving dangerously, failing to stop when directed and failing to provide a saliva sample at an earlier court hearing.

At around 2.20am on April 23, officers from the Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire and Hertfordshire Road Policing Unit (RPU) spotted a car speeding on the A1(M) in Welwyn. The car, a BMW, was being driven at a speed believed to be more than 150mph.

 

[AndyRM]

NCAP is thataway...

Failing that.

 

[Slick]

NCAP is thataway...

Failing that.

View attachment 734657

Obviously your not getting me with the old murdering kitten thing, but what's the craic with the fat eating bacteria diet?

 

[Drago]

Our chief constable bought a load of medals from Kenny Everett and pretended he'd fought at the Alamo or some such and his misconduct hearing continues tomorrow.

And the police have slapped up a photo of a robbery suspect in the local chipwrapper and are asking the public to identify him. Unfortunately the villain is wearing a balaclava and his face is entirely hidden, so it is unsure how they expect him to be recognised.

 

[AndyRM]

Obviously your not getting me with the old murdering kitten thing, but what's the craic with the fat eating bacteria diet?

Amphetamines. And lots of them.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

 

[Ming the Merciless]

 

[Ming the Merciless]

 

[Drago]

There was one the other day the police had shot a man with a machete.

I didn't realise a machete could fire bullets. You live and learn, eh?

 

[wiggydiggy]

There's a special skill that the British possess for doing a sadface pose for any story that has upset them, bonus points if they are pointing at something!