Do not even joke about such things!
Got a bad case of chubby legs syndrome
I got very fat while I was cycling quite a lot, but that was because I was also drinking an awful lot of beer. Without the beer, the fat is melting away, cycling or no cycling.
Exercise doesn't make people chubby. It might not
stop them being chubby, but it certainly doesn't
create fat - any chubbiness is coming from food or drink, not riding a bike!
As for making legs hairier - mine got less so over the years. Mind you, that's probably due to my testosterone levels dropping with age ...