How can I (or should I) learn to tolerate noise?

[Shut Up Legs]

I had a bad night last night . A large number of cars accumulated outside my next-door neighbours' house yesterday afternoon, then at 8:30pm the noise started: an incessant bass beat that was impossible to ignore. Fortunately for my sanity, it stopped around 11:30pm, but it was enough to raise my stress levels, and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.

As a renter, I've had noisy neighbours before: in fact, my 3 previous rentals put me next to them. I've been at my current location for 3 years now, and it's been mostly quiet, but now even a small amount of noise is enough to make my stress levels skyrocket, because I just don't seem to have any tolerance for it any more. If I had the money (e.g. a lottery win which will probably never occur, but that doesn't stop me fantasising about one), I'd buy a place with a lot of land around it, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where I can just get some guaranteed peace. My depression gets worse on nights like last night, and I start to think about taking a terminal option, perhaps not seriously, but definitely thinking about it.

Is it normal to feel this stressed about noise, or is there actually something wrong with me? I'm beginning to wonder if it's the latter. If it is the latter, what can I do about it?

Now I'm dreading what Christmas and New Years Eve will bring, and hoping my neighbours don't come up with something worse than last night .

 

[classic33]

Had a word with those responsible?

 

[buggi]

As it seems to be only ad hoc occasions with your new neighbours maybe you could ask them to forewarn you so you could maybe prepare yourself (like arrange to sleep on a friends sofa). I do think you need to see the doc tho as you shouldn't be considering a terminal option if your neighbours hold a party once in a while. She can give you something to calm your nerves on such occasions. Obviously this is a build up of stress and depression.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

One or 2 nights is not bad.

 

[Mrs M]

I had a bad night last night . A large number of cars accumulated outside my next-door neighbours' house yesterday afternoon, then at 8:30pm the noise started: an incessant bass beat that was impossible to ignore. Fortunately for my sanity, it stopped around 11:30pm, but it was enough to raise my stress levels, and I could almost feel my blood pressure rising.

As a renter, I've had noisy neighbours before: in fact, my 3 previous rentals put me next to them. I've been at my current location for 3 years now, and it's been mostly quiet, but now even a small amount of noise is enough to make my stress levels skyrocket, because I just don't seem to have any tolerance for it any more. If I had the money (e.g. a lottery win which will probably never occur, but that doesn't stop me fantasising about one), I'd buy a place with a lot of land around it, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where I can just get some guaranteed peace. My depression gets worse on nights like last night, and I start to think about taking a terminal option, perhaps not seriously, but definitely thinking about it.

Is it normal to feel this stressed about noise, or is there actually something wrong with me? I'm beginning to wonder if it's the latter. If it is the latter, what can I do about it?

Now I'm dreading what Christmas and New Years Eve will bring, and hoping my neighbours don't come up with something worse than last night .

11.30 isn't too bad unless it's a night before work. Maybe you could join the party?
I find I have become much more sensitive to noise as I get older. Mr M insists on having the TV blaring as I am trying to sleep, really p's me off.
My sympathies.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

[QUOTE 3413818, member: 9609"]Getting rid of your neighbours is not the best plan[/QUOTE]
I guess I was a bit ambiguous. Just for the record, that wasn't what I meant by a terminal option.

 

[slowmotion]

User13710 is spot on. We went through this a few years ago and it was extremely stressful. The important thing is to get to talk to the people causing the noise, not to suffer in silence and fester. They might be reasonable or they might not, but at least "engaging" with them gets you away from a sense of isolation and helplessness.

 

[jefmcg]

Noise is terrible for you. You just happen to notice its affect more than most. I don't think there is much you can do about the neighbours; turning the music off well before midnight shows that their heart is in the right place. If this doesn't happen very often, then it's just a fact of living near other people.

http://www.ens-newswire.com/ens/apr2011/2011-04-01-02.html

Environmental noise leads to a disease burden second in magnitude only to that of air pollution, the report states.

Though you might want to look at active noise cancelling headphones: I tried some in a noisy office, and it was like I'd been dropped into an anechoic chamber; it was weird. Not sure if it would help with base, which comes in through more than your ears.

 

[summerdays]

I have lovely neighbours now, and the rare noisy parties are always mentioned long in advance, and I suspect we are the noisiest as we have teens (fairly quiet one though, just wish they didn't need to shout all the time). Our old neighbour had teenagers who used to throw parties when his parents were away, or they would have noisy parties and then start to clear up and put out all the bottles after they had said goodnight loudly to their guests at 2 in the morning.

So I know it can be really irritating, if they do it regularly but tend to stop fairly early could you ring a mate and go and meet them so you don't have to sit and listen to it. Or another thing I once did was chat online whilst a party was going on, just to keep myself distracted.

It's the sitting there listening to it, unable to think of anything else that makes it seem really bad!

And the following morning (nice and early) is usually a good day to do now your lawn, trim your hedge, put out your own recycling etc

 

[Ganymede]

Hi victor - User13710 speaketh sense. I absolutely hate noise. I live in the country with lots of fields around me, and in the summer on a still Saturday night someone, somewhere, will be having a noisy party in a marquee a mile or two away. There is also one of those local mini-festivals that thumps on from Friday night till Sunday afternoon, but they always, always finish at a reasonable time. I hate it while it's happening but I deal with it by remembering that they have a right to celebrate, that they will shut up soon, and probably 95% of the time I live in peace. Like Reiver, I love a windy night as long as it's in the direction required! And I too have been woken in the dead of night by a mouse scratching about.

I find simple earplugs useful - it doesn't cut out much of the noise but it feels like taking control (I keep them by the bed for Mr G's snorier moments). But I do think you can make a sort of inner decision to say "ok, I don't like this but it will be gone and I can cope by doing something else". I would use that noisy evening to do some household repairs or start a new craft project, do some baking or thoroughly clean the house - you just get involved in that and can better ignore the sound.

I also agree that it's completely reasonable to ask your neighbours in a nice way to let you know in advance of any parties. Make friends with them, be the slightly eccentric neighbour, tolerant but with your own reasonable needs. That will strengthen the social contract. They sound ok if they stopped the noise at 11.30 but if you explain that a bit of notice would help you then they will be even more aware that their consideration is appreciated.

My sister has a "fest" in the field behind her house every year and comes to stay with me that weekend, but then she always sleeps with the radio on!

 

[raleighnut]

A mate of mine now lives up in the 'Gem fields' near Rubyvale, nearest neighbour is over a mile away but that's a bit OTT for me. Graham loves it though but he did have to build his own house on his 'claim'.

 

[Drago]

Tis why I moved to the arse end of nowhere.

 

[Ganymede]

[QUOTE 3414135, member: 9609"]

And then there is the bloke next door with his leaf blower - he is completely off his trolley, he washes his 4x4 (with the engine running) then dries the dam thing with the leaf blower. He will even come into my garden and pointlessly blow my leaves all over the place at like 8am, and if I say WTF he will just say "not healthy being in bed this late"[/QUOTE]
Have him killed.

 

[slowmotion]

[QUOTE 3414576, member: 9609"]That could be going a little over the top, a touch extreme - anyway, they look after the dog when we are away, and my weather records and ... seriously I have some brilliant neighbours, even if one does have an unhealthy obsession with a leaf blower.[/QUOTE]
I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.

 

[Ganymede]

I've noticed that people who are obsessed with their leaf blower usnally have a fetish about their pressure washer as well. Very odd.

And really sharply-cut hedges...